Reading between the lines

Let’s just say that today is not the beginning of the story. You’re joining me kinda, sorta in the middle. Of my life. Of trying to conceive. Of this cycle.

Today, October 28, 2009, is cycle day 12 (CD12), according to my Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE). We know this because I finished a 10-day round of Provera earlier this month, then started taking a 50mg dose of Clomid on day three (CD3) of (very light) withdrawal bleeding. I finished my fifth and final Clomid pill on CD7 (last Friday). According to my doc, I should start ovulating sometime around CD12–CD14, or five to seven days after my last pill.

Which is why I wasn’t heartbroken to find only a faint line on my Ovulation Predictor Kit test (OPK) this morning. In OPK land, unlike Home Pregnancy Test land, a faint line is a negative. A dark line—one that matches the control line or is even darker—is the real deal, positive. I started testing on CD8—admittedly early, but the nurse at my RE’s office suggested I go ahead and begin then just to make extra-certain I don’t miss my LH surge. There was no line CD8 (Saturday). Ditto for CD9 (Sunday). Come CD10 (Monday), there was a very, very, very faint line. (Hurray, at least there’s something in my system!) By CD11 (Tuesday), the line had darkened ever so slightly. And then, today, CD12, there was an equally faint line—no darker, but no lighter, either. At least there is a line!

Now, I know those OPKs can be wrong. I’ve read that on message boards, on blogs, my RE even told me so. But other bodily signals suggest I’m not ovulating. Like, ahem, my lack of cervical mucus (CM). I would warn you that TMI is about to follow, but if you’re having some trouble TTC then there’s really no such thing as TMI: There’s a bit of wetness down there, but nothing even closely resembling the elusive “egg-white CM” lucky ducks with normal cycles talk about. Nothing close to the oft-sited “copious amounts of CM.” Still, there’s time. It’s only CD12.

In the meantime, my hubby and I started a nice daily routine on Monday of baby-dancing (MOing in our world) first thing in the morning. Yep, every day: My RE says “lots and lots and lots of sex” is what it takes. My ob-gyn says “lots of sex in all sorts of positions.” Point taken—we’re on it!

And we’ll keep at it until a few days after I get that dark line on my OPK. Because I’m putting all my eggs in the Clomid basket, so to speak. I’m done being frustrated with my body that it’s not cycling on my own…I’m ready to believe this will work. So I’m banking on those little tiny white pills I took last week. I think I just need a nudge to get my body going. I’m hoping for a dark line soon. I’ll test again tomorrow morning!

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