On the border, again


My bloodwork looks “perfect.” My lining looks “just fine.” My right ovary looks “beautiful.” But, and this is a big BUT, I have a 10mm follicle on my left ovary. A “borderline” cyst. (Side note: Why am I “borderline”-everything?!?) So the doctor on call is recommending I sit this cycle out.

That’s right folks, I paid a small fortune this morning to be told I have to sit on the sidelines. I guess when a follicle doesn’t go away after ovulation, it’s called a cyst. And the if it’s there when you start gearing up to ovulate (like Clomid would make me do), the ovary thinks it’s the dominant guy and focuses its attention there. In other words, it crowds out all the little guys who actually have a shot of becoming full-blown eggies. But the other ovary looks great, so couldn’t we give it a go? “You’re chances of conceiving are so drastically reduced in this scenario that we’d rather you take a cycle off,” said the nurse. “You would be so disappointed if you didn’t get pregnant this cycle…and it could be all because of this cyst.”

“You can try again after you get your period,” the nurse tried to soothe me. Umm, nurse? Did you not get the memo? I DON’T GET MY PERIOD! So she says I’ll have to wait for it for a few week. And if it doesn’t come, they’ll give me some Provera. Yeah, I know this drill. Got it.

Should it be removed? “Nope, it’s tiny, the risks of removing it outweighs the benefits.” And what if this cyst isn’t gone by the time I’ve finished up my Provera next month? “It’s so tiny there’s a good shot it’ll go away on it’s own this cycle.” (I’m really starting to grate with that word, I don’t have cycles!!!) And what if there’s a new one? “There won’t be if you don’t ovulate, ovulation [or in my case, “borderline ovulation”] is what causes these suckers in the first place.”

Anyway, that’s the news from gloomy town. I’m my-heart-hurts-bummed-out at the moment, I admit it. It’s been a long time since I cried twice in one day. Darn that cyst! To think a few days ago my biggest worry was going on Provera in the next week. I didn’t know there were bigger fish to fry, or hurdles to jump, or…whatever.

I’m trying so hard to find the bright side. I guess now I won’t be stressed about having sex every night while we’re sleeping on the fold-out couch at my in-laws over Thanksgiving. Umm. I think that’s the only bright side. And I was actually looking forward to the adventure of it all, to be honest!



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3 responses to “On the border, again

  1. Awww, hon…how disappointing. I’m so sorry.

  2. Zuly

    You will be fine. The only advise that I can give you dont stop trying. I had a friend with the same exact situation, she was super sad because she wanted to keep trying but she had two cyst on her right ovary so the doctor said let’s try next month. Guess what??? When she went back for the third round of Clomid she was PREGGO!!! It happened when she was not even thinking about it. So don’t stop trying, you never know =)

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