Suckage

The cyst is still there. In fact, it’s even bigger (27×22, eeesh). Not sure how that happened since I’m “stagnant” in the hormone department. I guess it just has a mind of its own. They’ll call me back with my E2 numbers late this afternoon, but the u/s tech said even if it’s not emitting hormones, it’s unlikely Dr. C will move forward with a cyst that big. I asked if they can put me on BC or something (which I’ve heard can help cysts dissipate) and she said that was a possibility. I hope they’ll call in an Rx. Wish they’d done that last month.

So I’ll wait for that phone call, but I think we all know how this one ends: off month(s?). Who knows how long this will take to go away. No wonder I’ve been a mess worrying about it the past week. I was right: random dull ache in my ovary every so often = legit cyst, not my mind playing tricks on me.

I have a birthday dinner for a girlfriend tonight after work. So. Not. In. The. Mood. To be honest, I’m not in the mood for anything. I spent a month busying myself and perking up and feeling hopeful and trying to get into the right mindset for a great cycle. What the heck am I going to do with myself now? How can I make the best of this? I see no silver lining.

And now we’re one month closer to the kickoff of an insane flurry of wedding trips. California in March, Florida in April, then NYC in May, then another trip to NYC later that month, then Virginia in June, then KC in July. So, it’s a bit of a mess. I was so hoping to get in one good cycle before travel threatened to take us out of the game for a while.

My Mom always says to me, “The average time it takes couples to get pregnant is nine months, so keep that in mind!” As though I’m right on track. Yeah, well, those are couples who are ovulating every month. We don’t get to BFN & try again. We BFN and have months to dwell on it, without any chance of forward progress. All from a tiny little dose of Clomid! I have been seeing Dr. C for five months and this is what I have to show for it: one month not ovulating, one month of extremely thin lining and three months of nothing-ness. It’s just….ugh.

I am so so sorry for such a downer post.

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30 Comments

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30 responses to “Suckage

  1. Tarah

    Oh no! I’m sorry – that is major suckage! I would just as upset esp with all the traveling you’ll be doing. Moms mean well – my mom throws out all kinds of well meaning advice but she didn’t have any issue getting pregnant so ….haha.

    Hopefully the cyst goes away soon and you get some good news.

    http://lovelyladybump.blogspot.com/

  2. I’m so disappointed for you… can’t even imagine how you are feeling right now. While I admire how positive you always are, sometimes things just suck and there’s nothing else to say, other than….Fuck!

    Thinking about you, honey.

  3. I hope they can do something about the cyst. That is such miserable news. Sorry 😦

  4. LTB

    I’m so sorry egg! You are too good of an egg to be dealing with this silly cyst! Hope the doc comes up with a decent “solution”. I’ve often found that the nurses don’t always know the full story or what the doctor might really be thinking. Don’t give up hope yet!
    LTB

  5. Al

    I’m so sorry egg. I thought for sure the damn cyst would have gone the eff away…and instead it grew. Total bull shit and suckage. UGH. So incredibly frustrating.

    I’m crossing my fingers that the nurse calls with some good news this afternoon. So so sorry. 😦

  6. lifebytheday

    Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry. There is nothing worse than those endless delays. I always go INSANE when people say they’ve been trying for X years and XXX cycles…I’m like, I’ve only had X cycles in X years!!! Take this time to spoil yourself a little, and hopefully you’ll be back in the game SOON!

    Hugs,
    Jeannine

  7. NOOOOoooooOOOOOO! I can’t believe it! I am so, so sorry. I think waiting is the hardest part of this game, and you’ve done so much of it, you’ve got to be completely fed up. I can’t think of a single word of comfort, ’cause this situation completely sucks.

  8. EFF OFF, CYST! 😦

    So disappointing, so frustrating, so frickin’ unfair. I’m so very sorry, girl. My fingers are crossed for some encouraging news from the RE’s office.

  9. Jin

    Even those of us who are ovulating have well passed the “average 9 cycles” stage. I dont even remember when my cycle 9 was. Last summer?

    Boo, I’m sorry dear.

  10. I am so sorry. Stupid cyst. I really hope there is something they can do for you to at least *try* and shrink it. They have to try something, right.

    Sending you lots of (((hugs))).

  11. I think you need to stage an intervention with your cyst. Write him a letter, and tell him that if he doesn’t cease and desist, that you will cut him off (or out) financially.

    Sorry for the bad news. 😦

  12. Oh, Egg. So sorry to hear about the cyst. Is there still a chance you ovulated, even with the cyst??? I’m not trying to be all Pollyanna on you, but I am curious (since I still have a dull ache where my left ovary is too). What a trial in patience. You take it much better than I do. I think I would flip if I had to go back on b/c. Sending you love and hugs.

  13. Secret Sloper

    What a bummer 😦 I wish you didn’t have to wait any longer.

  14. I am so upset for you! I know the heartache you must be feeling! Not all are the lucky ones. we struggled almost a year with only 2 cycles of O’ing! Please keep you chin up! Go out tonight and for one night TRY and forget the horrible emotions you are going through!!
    I love you bestie!!

  15. Ugh! No need to apologize. That really sucks – I’m sorry :/

  16. rainingblossoms

    Ohhh noooooo! I am so sorry. It sucks. My thoughts are with you!!

  17. That stinks!!! Waiting is so not fun!

  18. Zuly

    My friend, maybe is good that you have all those wedding so you are not really thinking about TTC and the cyst. Enjoy it now with your hubby go out to dinner, drinking, dancing ect. Before you know it that cyst is going to be sooooo gone and you will be preggo!! Lots of hugs for you!

  19. Gah I am so sorry. they should have put you on bc pills in the first place. That is what my RE said happens when you get a cyst. I hope they are able to make it hurry up and go away so you can get started again.

  20. JC

    Oh Egg, I’m so sorry! There’s nothing I can say to make it better or make that cyst go away. =( I hope they can put you on BCP’s & it will make it shrink. I’m thinking about you. Lots of ((hugs)).

    ps-where is the wedding in FL? =)

  21. JC

    Darn…that’s 3 hrs away. =(

  22. I am so sorry…that just SUCKS. I know how much you were hoping to jump back in this cycle.
    I do see a silver lining, however. With all your travel IF you decide to take the next few months off, won’t your insurance kick in by then? Then at least you won’t have to worry about how much all this is costing?? Just a thought.
    I know how frustrated you must be and for that I am so so sorry. Hang in there tonight with the preggo friend. Have a glass of wine and smirk at her since she can’t 🙂

  23. Oh, SAGE, I’m so sorry! It all sucks. It’s not fair. There is no justice in any of this. None. I really hope they can aspirate it or something so you can get on with your plans.
    Love,
    Maddy

  24. Sorry about the cyst. That’s not good news. It seems like all we do is wait, doesn’t it? And you even more than most. But hopefully some BCPs will clear it right up. Good luck.

  25. Oh no! I’m so very sorry. I really hope they give you the BCP prescription, and that will clear that nasty cyst right up. Sorry love. 😦

  26. Tio

    This is so bloody unfair. This sucks, Egg! I’m so sorry that you have to do even more waiting. Waiting is the hardest thing. Nothing I can say will make you feel any less disappointed, so I’ll just say that I’m sorry and I’m thinking of you.

  27. Ugh. That’s so sad! I’m so sorry. I guess the silver lining is the bc might help? Or maybe since it’s large they can actually go in there and take it out? I really don’t know enough about cysts to be able to argue you into positivity this time.

    Huge, huge bummer. To say the least.

  28. This cyst sucks beyond belief and I’m so so sorry. It’s so unfair you have to wait any longer, you’ve done your fair share already. I’m hoping they can give you something to make it shrink, speed things along?? Ugh, this is just so frustrating…hang in there egg, we’re all thinking about you!

  29. I’m late getting the news, but I am so sorry. The down periods are the worst because you can’t even try. You’re right about the lack of chances. I did the math once and figured I had 10 ovulations in the past 2 1/2 years. So frustrating.

    Hang in there.

  30. Pingback: Not very elegant & graceful (but trying) « Such A Good Egg

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