My heart is breaking

Injects consult 10am this morning: Dr. C said it’s a huge problem that I don’t respond to the Estrogen. 😦 Like, super HUGE. I said, “Do you still think I can get pregnant?” And he said, “I really don’t know.” And then he said that if my lining doesn’t thicken on the injects, then we have to think about a surrogate. He wasn’t being fatalistic, he was telling us the truth. Lining is pretty much a deal-breaker. They can always give you more meds for bigger, better follies. But if your lining is thin, game over.

I am dying inside. This nightmare just gets worse and worse. I may not be able to get pregnant.

This cycle is officially canceled. I can start Provera next week. We’re going to injects class at 8am on Monday. I have no idea if lining will thicken with injects. Dr C doesn’t know either. Hubs just seems numb. (Please, someone, anyone, tell me a story about how your lining was in the 3mm range on Clomid and thickened up past 7mm with injects.) I teared up in the meeting, and now I’m barely holding it together. I  asked about Viagra and acupuncture to thicken lining. He said there’s no evidence that either one works, but I can do acu to de-stress.

How can I be so healthy and yet so totally f-ed?  My hormones are all normal. I’ve never had a problem with light periods until I went off BC and began TTC. I don’t have fibroids. I don’t have scar tissue. I don’t understand why my body is like this.

My heart is breaking.

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43 Comments

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43 responses to “My heart is breaking

  1. I’m so sorry 😦 No advice or experience to share but sending lots of *hugs*.

    I’m hoping that you’ll get a big surprise with the injects and your lining will thicken just like its supposed to.

  2. Oh my God, Egg.

    I can’t even imagine what you are feeling right now. Devastated and terrified don’t even to skim the surface right now.

    I hope that DH was by your side this morning and that his love is able to comfort you in some small way.

    And I have to say, I have hope for you– I really do. There are still options and perhaps the injects will be just the answer. I know that you refuse to give up, and I will have hope for you, even when you don’t.

    **the biggest hugs I could ever send over the internet**

  3. Oh no, Egg. 😦 I’m gutted for you, I am. I wish there was something that I could say or do to renew your hope… I’m so sorry. Ugh. So ridiculously unfair.

    We’re all here for you, Egg. Really. Always remember that.

  4. My heart is breaking for you. I’m so sorry and do not know what to say. I hope someone has a hopeful story to share. I want to see the response on injectables and I pray that it is an answer to your problems. Did the doctor mention a hysteroscopy or endometrial biopsy? I know nothing about either, but was just frantically googling after your post and saw those were sometimes the go-to testing with thin lining issues.

    Prayers and hugs, Egg.

  5. Oh no, no, NO! I can’t believe this is happening to you! An RE saying “I don’t know” in response to the Big Question has got to shake a person to her very core. Like Stef says, I can’t imagine how absolutely wretched you must be feeling–this is a really, really bad moment. But there’s just GOT to be an answer. I mean, your RE knows what he’s doing, but aren’t there drugs used during IVF for thin lining? And maybe it’s just the clomid that’s messing things up? I will hope with everything I’ve got that injectables do the trick, and that soon you are looking back on this day thinking how scared you were and how well things turned out despite your fears.

  6. I can only offer you my hugs and support. Any of our hearts would be breaking if we were dealt that news as well. I’m tearing up for you. I’m so sorry – my T&P are with that the injectables work for your lining. *HUGS*

  7. Oh egg, my heart is breaking for you. I can’t even imagine what you must be feeling, and I just hate that your are hurting. Just know that we are all here for you, and you are constantly in my thoughts. I too am going to continue to hope for you, because its not over yet. I’m so truly sorry, sending you tons of love and hugs Egg.

  8. My heart is breaking right along with you. I’m crying reading your post. I am going to hope and pray that the injects do the trick for you.

    There were a couple of girls at my clinic who used Viagra for their linings. I know one of them is pregnant now.

    Sending you so much love right now!

  9. I don’t even know what to say, Egg. I did not expect this. I am so beyond sorry and sad for you. This isn’t easy news, I know. I’m hoping, wishing, and praying that it’s just because of the Clomid–that with injects, your lining will be much better.

    Sending hugs and love your way. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here.

  10. I am so, so sorry. I wish I could fly over there right now and give you a huge hug (and a glass of wine?).

    At least he’s still open to trying injects. In reality, the game’s not over. Try not to get wrapped up in the what ifs.

    You will grow your family one way or the other and someday you’ll look back on all of this and know that it was all for a reason. But until then, I can’t imagine what you’re feeling. I’m so sad for you.

  11. I am truly sorry that your heart is breaking. What horrible news to get. I have no experience to comfort you with, and I am sorry. But, please know that my thoughts are with you today. (((HUGS)))

  12. I’m so very sorry Egg. Thinking of you today and hoping this time the injects work perfectly.

  13. Egg, I’m so, so sorry. I have no advice, but I hope that the injects work wonders!

  14. I’m so sorry that you have to deal with this, Egg. It’s not fair! *thinking of you*

  15. I am so sorry about this! I was wondering if he would consider straight up estrogen supplements to thicken your lining (in addition to injectables for the follies). From what my RE said, the straight up estrogen supplements help ONLY the lining if it’s not thick enough! (So, he wouldn’t give estrogen supplements unless the lining wasn’t thick enough, but if that was the problem, then (in his opinion) estrogen supplements would help to thicken it)…. I am so sorry for the bad news- I hope that you’ll get some good news soon!

  16. Al

    I am so, so sorry to hear this, egg. I hope the injects leave you with beautiful, thick lining and the “s” word won’t ever be uttered at a consult again.

    Thinking of you and sending you big huge hugs from across the city.

  17. JC

    Ohh no Egg! I’m so sorry for the horrible news from the RE. I hope and pray that things turn around completely with the injects and you respond, and your lining thickens up and is much better. I have hope, I really do. I wouldn’t just say that. I think clomid f*ed you up big time and I think your lining will get better. Huge huge hugs!!!

  18. Sending you lots of hugs. I’m so sorry, this must be a big blow.

    FWIW, my acupuncture guy said that eating more animal products (meat, fish, eggs) helps with lining. Western docs tend to not give Eastern medicine the respect it deserves. But isn’t a thin lining a common side effect of clomid? You can try to fix that side effect, but it seems to me at least I would try an approach that doesn’t have a side effect that needs fixing.

  19. I am so terribly sorry. I know there’s little comfort in that, but I will be sending up a prayer for you.

  20. LTB

    Sending you e-hugs from here in Canada. I’m so sad and sorry for the crummy appt. today. I have faith that injects will work, like I said, my doc wouldn’t even bother trying clomid with me b/c he knew it would make my lining too thin! I’m sure the same goes for you! Injects WILL work!
    LTB

  21. My friend, my heart is breaking with you!!! I wish I can hug you right now. I’m going to pray so hard for the injections to work. Let’s begin the new cycle with a positive attitude. IT WILL WORK!!! Lots of hugs and kisses!!

  22. hollytraveling

    No, I refuse to believe it. There has to be options. There always are. Did he ever mention Femara? I know it’s an off-label and people get scared but there’s no thin lining side effect.

    I think you need to get a second opinion. I have a friend who’s been trying for their second for five years. She has incredibly high FSH levels, which is really bad. Anyway, she was with the same RE for years and went through all the treatments we have, plus injects, plus IUI, plus IVF. Nothing. Her doctors basically gave up on her and told her it wasn’t going to happen.

    Now, she found a new doctor, one who has a completely different strategy and truly believes she can get pregnant. Turns out all of the treatment she had before was actually not good for her condition. It made it worse. She’s not preggo yet, but she’s more hopeful than she’s been in years.

    All I’m saying is, do not give up hope. Don’t. I really truly can’t accept this as truth and neither should you.

  23. Jen

    Hi, JC from Steps to Baby pointed me in the direction of your blog b/c your story is similar to mine. I have come to offer you hope! I did 4 cycles of Clomid completely unmonintored from my OB/GYN (big mistake!), so when I got to my RE consult, my lining was LESS than 3! My particular RE was more concerned with growing eggs, however, and said “It doesn’t matter how thick your lining is if you don’t have eggs”….but on my “lucky” Follistim cycle, my lining was up to 9.5. That was only 3 months after stopping the Clomid (with 2 Femara cycles thrown in). So have faith!!

  24. Jen

    I forgot to say that my RE also suggested I gain weight, saying weight gain usually impacts lining. I don’t know how true that is, as my sis just got KU on the 1st try, and she is 5’7″ and size 0….so who knows! Just a thought

  25. Secret Sloper

    Oh egg, I can’t believe this! I can’t believe that this is it for you. I’m so sad and angry for you right now. I am wishing and hoping and praying with every bone in my body that you respond to the injectibles, that your doctor figures out a way to improve your lining, that this works. I won’t give up hope for you.

  26. I’m so sorry – what a scary and devastating appointment! I agree with the pp’s that hope is not lost. Clomid is notorious for effecting the lining, so you may respond so much better to injects. ((hugs))

    here from LFCA

  27. I’m so sorry to hear this. I will be praying the injectibles work for you!!!

  28. I’m so, so sorry. Your RE’s honesty must have stung you so badly. I can’t imagine the pain you are in right now but I can understand your fears. I’m so hoping that the injects give you the lining you need. It’s all so unfair and unexplained. I hate it and I hate what it does to us. I’m sending you a big hug.

    I don’t have any lining stories except that clomid thinned my lining out so they just reduced my dosage and that helped. Maybe the injects will work. I’m crossing everything for you. Again, so sorry.

  29. Oh, Egg, I am so so sorry. If I were you, I would definitely give acupuncture a try. It can’t hurt and it certainly will help to relax you, which I’m sure is all but impossible right now.

    I’ll be thinking about you and I wish you all the best. Hopefully injectables *will* do the trick. Many hugs.

    Christina

  30. What heartbreaking news. Holding you in my heart.

  31. Hi – so sorry to hear you’ve gotten some bad news. One thing I would say: a second opinion is never a bad thing. It doesn’t mean you don’t trust your doctor. Any doctor should be completely fine with you getting a second opinion. But another doctor might have other ideas. My husband and I got a second opinion. We didn’t go with the second doc; stuck with our first one, but it gave us some new ideas to think about.

  32. I had this exact problem. My first ivf cycle was cancelled due to lining. When we went for fet, same thing. So we did femera, not for egg growth, but to make my lining “estrogen hungry”. We then did estrogen injects, Viagra and accupunture. It only made it to a 7mm and he wanted to cancel, but I overrode his decision and went through with it. Oh, along with injects, I also did estrogen supps with the Viagra supps. 7mm is very low to do fet, but it worked. I transferred 4 embies and one stuck, and that little embie is now a year old.

    If you want to talk about it more, please feel free to email me. Thin lining sucks but those injects, along with Viagra and more estrogen supps worked for me. I hope that gives you a little hope.

  33. Oh honey! My heart is breaking for you! I teared up reading this! I won’t even start to imagine what you are going through right now. There is always that fear in women’s minds that this could happen, but until it is reality its not the same!
    There is still a chance though! I am still hopeful!! Love you!!

  34. I had issues with thickening on Clomid and Femera, but injectibles did the trick. I will hope and pray the same is true for you.

  35. Oh no! I am so sorry *hugs* I really hope injectables are able to do the trick for your lining. I know that I responded quicker on the injectables and did have a thicker lining quicker. Could they used small doses of injectables to make your cycle longer so you had a longer chance to have a thicker lining? I so hope this works. Sending you positive thoughts and hugs.

  36. Jin

    Oh Egg, I don’t know what to say. Biggest ((hugs)) ever! And there’s bound to be something that will work.

  37. Egg, I am so sorry to hear this news, but I refuse to give up hope and I know you won’t either. I knew this news is scary and so frustrating, but I really think you’ll do great on the injects and this is just your body’s response to Clomid.
    Treat yourself well this weekend. Hang in there. Big, big internet hugs coming your way.

  38. My lining was 5.5 on clomid and got up to 9.5 on injectables. It is well known that clomid causes a thin lining. Yes, yours is VERY thin, but I think your doctor is being a little over-dramatic. I think you still have a very good chance of having a normal lining with injectables. DON’T GIVE UP!!

  39. Tio

    Oh Egg, this is just dreadful. I really feel for you. What a shock this must have been.
    I am keeping all my fingers and toes crossed that the injects ‘fluff’ you up.
    Thinking of you.

  40. Here from LFCA and wanted to say I too, had lining problems with Clomid. Cleared right up with injectibles! Don’t lose hope.

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