I have not been feeling super blogariffic this week, so I really apologize for my lack of commenting and reading and posting. That said, I am feeling better, so I’ll be back in action soooon.
Monday was kind of a sad, doomsday-ish blur. You guys were there. I was upset and scared. The ubiquitous darkness of IF felt twisted and nightmarish in new and horrible ways. Suddenly I was thinking things like, Would I even consider a surrogate? And, Would hubs and I be okay as just the two of us forever and ever? There was a lot more brewing in the witches pot of Bad IF News, but I think you get the picture. YUCK.
Then Tuesday I felt pretty ticked off at Dr. C. I mean, what RE tells a sensitive, hormonal, baby-desperate woman that he doesn’t know whether she can get pregnant? We appreciate honesty, but I am apparently a fragile little thing who really benefits from a more positive bedside manner. We still trust in Dr. C, but I think his consult performance was begging us to go out and find a second opinion. Some internet research suggests there are some experimental ways to get around lining that won’t respond to Estrogen. That said, we think any RE would be taking this course of action (injects) so I feel good about proceeding with this cycle as planned. And if ditching the Clomid and trying new drugs doesn’t thicken up my lining as we are so desperately hoping it will, and Dr. C won’t think outside the box with us, then we will move on. We are very fortunate to live in Chicago, where there are a number of fantastic RE clinics. Hubs and I are not accepting this good-lining-or-bust thing. I hope we can prove ourselves right.
By Wednesday, it was time to get busy. Action is the antidote for despair, right? Even though he has an actual dissertation to work on in real life, hubs is currently working toward his PhD from Google in the esteemed field of Uterine Lining-ology. (And he’s on track to graduate with Honors, as you will see in a future post wherein I bestow all of the findings upon you.) For the past few days he’s been sending me links to studies and RE-penned blogs, all of them related to thickening the endometrium. At night, he comes home bearing Walgreens gifts. 🙂 I’m now taking Vitamin E, L-arginine (an, um, male performance supplement that works similarly to Viagra), baby aspirin, Fish Oil and Pre-Natals. And going to acupuncture. Oh, yeah, and I’m also taking Provera and have some Gonal-F arriving this weekend. It’s a freaking Fertility Pharmacy next to our coffee maker!
Now on to the really important stuff: the world’s biggest THANK YOU! Thank you all so much for your kindness via comments and emails on Monday. To those of you who know me and have been reading along, your heartfelt comments warmed me on a chilling day. To all of the folks who aren’t regular visitors and dropped by to offer support, I am so grateful and uplifted by your words. And to those of you who had successful stories to share, thank you so very much. You gave me hope. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.