I imagine a BFN must be the worst feeling in the world when you’re cycling. But since I’ve never gotten that far, I will share my personal hell (November, January, February, half of March, now April): being benched. I’ve experienced that wind-out-of-my-sails–feeling three times in the past two weeks. Weird. (Still, it was nice to have some ups during this roller coaster ride.)
This afternoon Dr. K canceled this pseudo-cycle because my E2 dropped a bit and my lining didn’t improve. I’ve been put on BCPs to try to shrink the—now official—cyst. (Bye Scrappy The Follie, it was nice to know you.) Truthfully, I’m super bummed. 😦
Since Sunday evening my stomach has fluttered with excitement that I might go into April, my lucky month, with the secret hope you only feel during a 2ww….but it was not meant to be. Annoyingly, I also can’t start injects right after I finish a cycle of BCPs—because of our wedding gauntlet I’ll be on them longer than 21 days.
Still, I know that some REALLY good things came out of this roller-coaster. Thanks to this random and sort of emotionally-grueling monitoring, I now have some legit hope that my lining might improve on better meds. Totally worth it. And I’m grateful Dr. K broke protocol to see this through. I’m excited about meeting with her in a few weeks for a second opinion consult. So really, even though this news stings and I can’t shrug the blah feeling that’s descended upon me, know that I am happy about these things.
Thanks to all of you for rooting for Scrappy; I’m sorry I couldn’t turn the weirdest-cycle-ever into a trigger-IUI story!