CD8 *updated*

I am now in the hard part of the cycle. The part that has gone badly, so badly, two out of the three times I’ve cycled. Today I am determined to keep a positive attitude. I am tired of being heartbroken and scared and disappointed on monitoring days. Here’s the deal: After five nights of Gonal-F, I went in for CD8 monitoring this morning. No follies over 10 and lining is 4mm. There are two follies on the left that are close to 10mm.

Now is when I focus on the positives! I know most folks would not be happy with their lining at 4mm (heck, most people start a cycle with that kind of lining!), but for me it’s a good number for CD8. Back in December, in my one Clomid/ovulatory cycle, my lining was 3.2mm on trigger day (CD13). So, this is definitely improvement. And considering my follies are all small, I’m hoping there’s going to be more fluffing as they begin to grow and spew estrogen. Because they WILL GROW. Right……?

I know that they like to see follies above 10mm at this point, because the nurse gently explained that so far my response is “less than ideal.” But, the upside is that they can tweak my meds. Maybe Dr. K will want to add in the Luveris now? Maybe she’ll amp up my small dose of Gonal-F? I’ll find out this afternoon. I am feeling so fragile right now….like I’m in a rocking boat and I’m desperate to keep my balance. To find my Zen place. All morning I’ve been giving myself little pep talks. Everything is fine! Slow and steady is the way to go! It only takes one good egg! They’ll tweak the meds and the next monitoring appointment will go better! I want so badly to believe all of this is true.

P.S. NYC was awesome. Great weather, great parties, great shopping, great running, great friends, great family. We had an amazing time. 🙂

*Monitoring update*

My E2 is 103, LH is 1.9, no measurable follicles. Not a great day of monitoring. The infamous Dr. Old is on call and has….wait for it….made NO CHANGE to my Gonal-F dose. Sigh. I remember from WTH consults #2 and #3 that Dr. Old is anti-upping dosing mid-cycle. Awesome. And Dr. New is out of the office today and Wednesday (when I go back), so I have to do whatever he says. Despite my attempts to connect with a doc who cares about my response and is willing to treat me as an individual, I still have Dr. Old calling my shots (literally).

Because my LH is so incredibly low he has (SHOCKER!) instructed me to take a half dose of Luveris. A half dose? I have no follie action! Shouldn’t we be a little more aggressive? Good lord.

Despite all of my attempts to be positive and Zen and chill, I find myself slipping toward negativity.

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25 Comments

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25 responses to “CD8 *updated*

  1. Repeat after me: They will grow. They have nothing else to do but get bigger! Sending you lots of “grow, follies!” vibes. I hope that the next appointment leaves you feeling more confident and positive. 🙂

  2. I just reviewed my own experience in regards to lining/follie size and if you’re anything like me, I think you’re still doing great, I think they just need to up your meds a bit. On my 2nd injectables cycle on CD9 my lining was 6.5, then, 3 days later on CD12 it was at 9mm! Also, that cycle they understimmed me a bit, and on CD9 the biggest follies on my right ovary were at 8mm, biggest on my left were 10.5 and 11mm. Unfortunately that cycle they never upped my meds (I was doing 75 gonal-f / day) and I ended up stimming for 15 days (yuck!). The next cycle they started me at 75/day and then took me up from there and I ended up with 3 nice sized follies at the end. So you’re still in the game!! Hang in there!

  3. Tarah

    Grow follies grow! And WHOO HOO on your lining! That is great for you! I hope they do tweak your meds & that is all it takes. Fingers tightly crossed!

    http://lovelyladybump.blogspot.com

  4. I’m hoping you’ll be flooded with info from women who have experience with injectables, so I’ll just add my little cheering voice! You’re doing great, and everything really is fine.

  5. You just keep pepping yourself up, because I think you’re off to a great start egg!! So happy to hear the lining has improved, and both it and your follies have one direction to go…and that is up!! And I’m sure Dr. K will adjust everything just perfectly to get the response she wants. Hang in there today, thinking of you!!

  6. Sending you my best vibes for today. Don’t count yourself out — a lot can happen in a few days. The meds are WORKING, which is a huge step forward. Celebrate it!

  7. Al

    You still have time, Egg, CD 8 is early. I hope they tweak the meds a bit, your lining fluffs up, and you see great results on CD 12. Thinking of you and hoping you get a great response this cycle.

  8. lifebytheday

    I know exactly how you’re feeling…mid-cycle can be a dark place for us tricky responders. Keeping my fingers crossed for lots of growing and fluffing in the days ahead!!

  9. While I know that today’s appointment was less than ideal, I’m thrilled to see that your lining was in better shape than previous months! Also, just as you mentioned, a “less than ideal” response may be easily cured with a higher dose. So hopeful for you, Egg!! *hugs*

  10. LTB

    Hey Egg! I’m sorry that you are feeling the negativity creeping in. But just to give you a little hope…My first injectible cycle they gave me too much meds too fast and I hyperstimulated and had no luck ( I think the eggs got big but not mature enough). The cycle that I got my BFP, I didn’t trigger until day 17! The follies grew really really slow but I think the quality was better. I was getting nervous but slowly and surely the eggies grew and we got our bfp! Trust the doc, even if he’s a dick head, I think he probably knows what’s up. But also totally call dr. k and get her opinion/explanation tomorrow. Everything is going to work out great for you this cycle!
    :)LTB

  11. I’m sorry you are feeling frustrated! Maybe they are hoping for slow growing follies to give you lining a chance to thicken up even more? I’d still contact Dr. K. once she’s back. You deserve to have your questions answered.

  12. Mara

    Hello! I just found your blog and I think I used to go to your clinic – how funny. Dr. Kim was my doctor and I went to her because I wasn’t ovulating on my own either! It sounds like I had something similar to you, and we just respond to stims much slower than other women. (I have gotten the same speech from that nurse – Corey? I can’t remember her name) I wouldn’t worry AT ALL about nothing >10 yet. It just takes us longer.

    I have mixed thoughts on Dr. C. He actually cancelled one of my cycles (a Clomid cycle which I later got pregnant on, on like CD40), so I thought he was a jerk, but then he did the D&C when I miscarried that pregnancy and he was very nice and gentle with me.

    Anyway, sorry that was so long. Good luck! I will think good thoughts for you.

  13. zully

    My friend, let’s take a day at of time. Maybe wednesday things are different and you get good news. Let’s think POSITIVE!!! Muah

  14. Such an emotional roller-coaster. Keep your chin up as much as you can. Sending good thoughts your way.

    Renae from Launderlife

  15. Ugh, I’m sorry they aren’t adjusting your meds to make things happen. That is so annoying. I really hope that they up them soon and your follies start growing!

  16. hollytraveling

    First of all, that’s fabulous news on the lining! It’s responding, which is great. Secondly, I’ve never done the meds you’re doing, but I’ve never had follies that big on CD 8. The last two rounds of femara I didn’t get an LH surge until CD 21. I know it’s a completely different thing, but don’t give up hope. Lastly, I wish they would’ve adjusted the meds a bit to be more aggressive. I’m really excited for you though. Yay for cycling!

  17. Great news on the lining. Mine was at 4 when they first measured it this cycle and grew to the 8. Very promising. I’m surprised by the comment because CD 8 is early to me to be expecting huge follicles. I would’ve been happy with it all. Is this Dr. K a Dr. K-K? If it’s the same one, that will make sense. If not, I’m thinking of another doctor.

  18. Jen

    I think you definitely have time left; CD8 is very early! I often did not have anything going on that early. And yay for 4mm!!! Awesome.

    Sending you positive thoughts and vibes.

  19. I would say CD8 is early, too, although I know how it is to be a s-l-o-w responder, and it STINKS. Praying that there is some good growth at your next u/s!!

  20. You could always ACCIDENTALLYtake the whole dose right?????

  21. Oh sweetie, this is so hard. From the outside it looks like injectables are tricky, and a lot of women need multiple cycles to get things right. So if you HAVE to have pessimistic moments, maybe they can be about needing to try a few times before you get it tailored to you. I can’t imagine how hard it is to be off the bench at last and to be thinking this cycle might not lead to anything but information gathering, but perhaps thinking longer term will help bring the zen back. Though from what the others are saying, there’s plenty of reason for optimism for this cycle.

  22. Okay, the lining is looking good. The follies are little, but I know they’re plucky. And you’re already off to a better start than any other cycle yet so far. So I’m hoping for you, Egg, and I’m going to join you on the positivity train.

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  24. Grow, follies, grow!
    I’m sorry about Dr. Old though. That’s just annoying.

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