Ups & downs

Dr. K did my CD14 ultrasound this morning. She was not pysched with rightie. My 14mm-er lead follie hasn’t grown at all and now I’ve got “a ton” of 12mm-ers, “like an IVF cycle.” Not good. Leftie is hanging in with two follies at about 15-16mm. (Dr. K doesn’t normally do ultrasounds so she warned me that her measurements are probably a little off.) And leftie has a few little guys in the 11-12mm range, which is “fine.” My lining is not fluffing…he’s stuck at 6.6mm.

So, lots and lots of action, but no mature follicles so no trigger tonight. I guess this explains why my ovaries are achey and my lower abdomen feels bloaty/crampy/stabby. Blaaah!

Anyway, she said the problem is that we can’t get my lead follies to mature and meanwhile a bunch of other follies are catching up. She said we might have to cancel thanks to all of those little 12mm-ers. (Noooooo!) She was already talking about how in the next cycle we’ll probably stim with a lower dose of Gonal-F. Sigh. (I’m already down to 75 units, as of Friday.) Kind of a bummer to be talking about the next cycle, right? Especially because I know I’ll have cysts after this one ends, so “next cycle” means July. I felt tears welling up in my eyes during the u/s. I told her I’ve been with their clinic for eight [freaking!] months and only triggered once—I really, really, really want to ovulate and finish this cycle. And in my head I was thinking, Dude, my lining is quite thin by RE standards, do you really think I’m going to come out of this as octo-Mom? Give me a chance!

I don’t know if we’ll make it to IUI land. I so want to. So so so so badly. I’m hoping beyond hope that the biggish guys on the left make it to 18mm tomorrow—so that I can trigger. And that all of the 12mm-ers on the right stay put—so that I’m not cancelled.

I know I’m supposed to think/be positive and I still am! I know it’s great that my follies are responding to the meds. I know it’s awesome that my lining is the best it’s ever been. I know first cycles of injects are usually “exploratory and diagnostic.” So, that is all good stuff. But I couldn’t help but hope I might have a shot this month. And I know the conditions are not ideal…I don’t have any biggie follies (the kind that hold GOOD EGGS!) and my lining hasn’t reached the magic 8mm thickness. And I know even *perfect* cycles often don’t yield BFPs. So it’s getting harder to hope that my looooong-awaited injects cycle might actually work.

Sorry for the lame, data-heavy post!! I promise to post about something more interesting soon. For now, it’s all ovaries, all the time. 🙂

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18 Comments

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18 responses to “Ups & downs

  1. JC

    Oh Egg I’m sorry it wasn’t a better appt! I know how frustrating this can be, it sounds like the early part of my last cycle when he thought there might be too many and I might get cancelled. But worrying really does no good at all so I hope you can relax. I hope the big one(s) get bigger and the smallish ones stay smallish so you can trigger. Good luck!

  2. I dont mind all ovaries, all the time! I’m so sorry about the monitoring appt. I have been there 100% with the slower-than-expected growth AND with the fighting back tears at the RE. I will be praying for you and your follies- that the biggest one would get its act together!!

  3. I can totally understand why you are frustrated! I’m keeping my fingers crossed that you get a nice mature follie, and that those 12mms stay put!

  4. Oh, Egg! How frustrating! You’re literally just millimeters away from having a shot at this cycle! I hope your clinic people are listening to you and making decisions based on your particular case and not just some generalized imaginary flowchart.

    I really hope your next appt brings more welcome news. Yeah, long-term, things look good for you, but STILL!

  5. I think you still have an awesome chance this cycle, Egg. Don’t give up hope,. The biggies can grow overnight, you’ll trigger before the 12ies get too big and your lining will fluff up in time for the IUI. Have faith my friend and fingers crossed that you get to IUI land this week! Hoping the very best for you my friend.

  6. *hugs* I’m sending you good thoughts. An for the record – I have never made it to 8mm for my lining.

  7. I really really hope one of those follicles has a growth spurt!

    If all the smaller ones kept growing in tandem and matured would you consider switching to IVF? (I have no idea if that’s possible, affordable, or something you’d even consider…just curious…I really want you to get your chance!)

    Grow follie!

  8. Egg, what a frustrating experience this all is! Your efforts to be positive are soooo admirable, because I know I’d be just losing it in your situation– up and down and good news and bad news. So much to take.

    As frustrating as it is, I think it’s a good thing that your doctors are treating the follies’ growth cautiously. They are responsible professionals–you don’t want Octomom’s docs on your case!

    I so, so want for you to make it to iui-land. That is my Mother’s Day wish.

  9. Okay, we’re going to focus on the positive here. Yes, 6.6 is still a tad un-fluffed, but let’s not say “stuck” on 6.6: your follies are still growing, so your lining is still fluffing! Fluff, lining, fluff! And those follies sound GOOD! You have a 14, a 15, and a 16, right? Those guys are contenders! And as far as those 12s, well, how many does she mean when she says “a ton”? I’m just going to hope that there’s only a few. Grow, 14, 15, and 16, grow! (but not you twelvers, no growing for you!)

  10. Ugh. This is so frustrating. Definitely tell her about your frsutration and concern. This is not OK!

  11. Tio

    Sigh. It seems like you just can’t catch a break. Still, I haven’t given up hope for this cycle yet.

  12. zully

    My friend, I hope you get some nice mature follies. The 12mm I’m sure will stay put because that also happened to me. When do you go back? Big Hug!!

  13. AHHHHHHHHH!!!! (((hugs)))

  14. So I’m pulling for at least one of those follies to bring it and cross that 18mm threshold, crossing everything!!! I totally get this must be so frustrating, but good things are happening here…and your doc is on the ball, I know she’ll get this done. If not this cycle, then next. But hoping SO hard an IUI is still in store for you this month!!

  15. Mara

    Aw, that sucks – I’m so sorry it was a rough appointment. I would have been emotional too, and I think you have a good point with the 8 month thing.

    That being said, I agree with the others that this cycle still has a good chance. Anything can happen with the 14, and I think a lining of 6.6 is still very good. Once the 14 grows, hopefully the estrogen from that will push the lining up! (And I think I have heard of women getting pg with a 6mm lining, though I would have to look for where I saw that.)

    I have everything crossed for you!

  16. Grrr, I’m sorry she didn’t have better news for you. I think you’re right about not really having to worry about becoming Octomom… and if it would help you to get to the IUI stage, maybe she will make an exception for you?

    Fingers are crossed that things change and this cycle turns out to be a “go”. If it doesn’t, though, I guess you and the docs learned a lot from this cycle? A LOT of GREAT things happened!

  17. Sigh. It’s so complicated! Why can’t it just WORK ALREADY! I’m hoping by the time you read this you’ll have good news…

  18. Tarah

    ((HUGS)) That news just sucks and I know I would be thinking & fearing the same darn things. Don’t feel bad about it – I hope your fears are wrong though and everything turns out perfectly! I hope you don’t have to wait until July & I hope that if this cycle doesn’t work you won’t have cysts!

    http://lovelyladybump.blogspot.com/

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