Rookie ramblings

The wedding weekend in NYC was wonderful and a very, very nice distraction. I am now home and a whopping 12 days into the 2ww! 🙂 I DID end up jogging with my good friend over the weekend (who is incredibly dear to me but does not know about my IF because I seem to only be able to talk to you bloggies about it) and it felt awesome. I took it very EZ and drank lots and lots of water during the run and am fairly certain I didn’t thwart any potential implantation.

Speaking of implantation, I still have zero signs that we’re finally pregnant. On the night of 8DPO I *thought* I might’ve had a trace of that twinge-y lower abdomen stuff many women describe, but it only lasted one evening and, honestly, I was thinking about my uterus so intently that night that it’s more likely I either a) imagined it, or b) was so hyper-aware of my body that I noticed something that’s always there anyways.

And that, my friends, is it….so whatevs! I have zero desire to test early. I’ve decided folks who test early must have a strong suspicion that they’re knocked up so they’re really excited to see that BFP. Me? I’m still hoping for a miracle and praying for a symptom here or there, but mostly trying to prepare my psyche and heart for Wednesday morning’s result. (My clinic only does a Beta if you get a positive HPT; I need to go buy one.)

When in doubt, which is 97.7% of the time, I cling to this awesome post by Leslie as proof that—depsite what blog-land and message boards suggest—it IS definitely possible to be knocked up without any symptoms. Whatever happens, I will take the 2ww to being benched ANY TIME. Of COURSE I would be over the moon to have beginner’s luck, but simply living with the potential that our hopes and dreams could finally be realized has been truly amazing. A couple times I even daydreamed about what we might name our little one. I haven’t allowed myself to do that since last summer when I blissfully and naively thought the answer to my lack-of-period-woes was a 10-day dose of Provera. I have absolutely treasured these two weeks of feeling—for the first legit time—like we’ve had a shot at starting our little family.

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21 Comments

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21 responses to “Rookie ramblings

  1. I test early, but I assure you it’s not ’cause I think I’ll see a positive! (It’s so I can get have a more gradual disappointment and potentially be able to sleep the night before I’m due…) ANYWAY, I’m delighted you had a good trip and have been savoring the hope!

  2. The twinge is definitely a good sign, but I have so many friends who got their BFPs with zero signs. So I am happy to see that post about it. It’s nice to know that you don’t have to be barfing everywhere to know you are knocked up. Plus, every person is different. I’m glad you had a good trip and I am so hopeful for you! When do you plan on testing? I keep waffling between Wednesday and Thursday mornings.

  3. Jin

    That post you linked was awesome. Plus the fact that those TTC for a long time and IFers are probably the only folks on the planet analyzing symptoms under a microscope. Yay for letting yourself dream a little bit; I hope Wednesday (or Tuesday, whenever you test) gives you good news!

  4. I had no symptoms. It can definitely happen, friend. 🙂

  5. i secretly (hubby didn’t know) tested during ivf bc i would’ve preferred seeing the bfn on my own as opposed to getting a phone call while i was at work. the latter would’ve resulted in a huge scene at work, and ppl think i’m crazy anyways (thanks to all the tears of the last year). you have tons of willpower there!!! ps – while you were here this weekend, did you see a girl with *lovely straight here sans socks*????

  6. Tarah

    I’ve been keeping you in my T&P and hoping your HPT gives you a BFP! I’m glad you were able to job – I hope you had a blast this weekend too!

    I test early because I’ve never been one who can wait for things. haha. That’s how I got my first BFP and that ended up in a CP. You think I would have learned my lesson but I know I’ll be POAS ASAP again…haha

    http://lovelyladybump.blogspot.com/

  7. Awesome post and thanks for the link to that awesome info. I am the worst at waiting to test…peed lots of money away.

    Continue to enjoy the feeling of possibly being pregnant. I hope that feeling continues for another 8 months! 🙂

    Renae from Launderlife
    Personal blog: http://launderlife.wordpress.com

  8. Glad you had a great weekend! 🙂 Wow, your office only does a beta if you have a + HPT? I guess that does save you some moolah and spare you the extra needling. I tested before my beta, not out of a hunch that it might be positive, but more for the need to let myself down gently, if necessary. Anyway, I have armfuls of hope that you WILL have some beginner’s luck!

  9. Al

    FX that you get a great surprise on Wednesday. And, absolutely u could get a BFP with no symptoms….I did. Twice.

    GL, Egg!

  10. I love that you are totally embracing this 2ww! I need to work on that. Lots and lots of people are pregnant with no symptoms, and don’t forget that us IFers are testing way before most people even think they could be pregnant. Fingers crossed for two beautiful lines on Wednesday (or a “pregnant” digital)!

  11. No symptoms? As in no period symptoms either?? Hmmmm…I think this could be a good thing! Can’t wait to hear from you on Wednesday!

  12. I also have gotten a bfp with no symptoms, twice…it can happen egg!! Everything crossed for you! And loving your attitude about the tww, way to turn that wicked little wait into a positive egg, go you!! And so happy to hear you had a great time in NYC!

  13. zully

    Good luck my sweet egg, I hope you get a BFP!!

  14. I will be thinking of you Wednesday morning as I take my test too. Although, not to be negative but I feel like I am already out. Cramps started in today 😦 Good Luck!!!!

  15. hollytraveling

    Oh, Egg, I’m hoping so much for a BFP for you!!! Either way, it was a huge milestone this month. Glad you had fun in NYC.

  16. Kate

    Glad this weekend was a good escape…I need to plan one for the next two weekends…I don’t know how I’ll make it through!!

    Re: symptoms: I had ABSOLUTELY NO SYMPTOMS when I was pregnant w/ my son from IVF. It can happen. And, then, around 6 weeks preggers, “morning” sickness (aka morning, noon, and night) reared its ugly head.

    I’m still on the fence about running. I know that I’ll be going crazy…I’ve cut back to every other day and limited my mileage to 30-35 MPW…and am planning on not doing anything post transfer.

  17. Absolutely no symptoms sounds like a really promising sign! I so hope this is it for you. You deserve it 🙂 I’m glad the weekend was great. My fingers are crossed for you, Egg dear.

  18. So glad the wedding weekend was great! I’m with you, No reason to test early!

  19. Hang in there, you are SOCLOSE to being able to test.

  20. any testing yet?! i’m hoping you’ll be blown away with a surprise +!

  21. No period symptoms definitely seems like a good sign. I have started to get cramps, so I feel like my period is on its way. Sigh. But I was happy to read some other ladies’ confirmations that they got a bfp without pregnancy symptoms, too.

    I had 1 early miscarriage with no symptoms until ~2 days after my period was due (and then only dizziness/fatigue), and 1 ectopic in which my breasts had a ‘special kind’ of tenderness starting around 3-4 dpo. For what it’s worth.

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