Meandering through June

I ran 8 miles in the pouring rain early on Saturday morning. I felt slow and heavy, and my legs still burned with the after-shocks of the hard (untrained!) effort of running the race last weekend. But I reveled in every step. I felt relief that the storm kept the Moms and Dads with their baby joggers off the lake path. I sloshed along and felt my lungs searing, my quads burning and my feet freezing; it all felt good. And then I walked/limped into our apartment, looking like a drowned rat, and I poured a mug of steaming coffee, cuddled into a cozy sweatshirt, and just sat there sort of staring into space: too tired and numb to think or to be scared or to feel sad.

Running is my escape.


Hubs and I joined a CSA for the first time this summer! We’re sharing a weekly delivery of farm-fresh produce with three other friends. The first shipment…..romaine lettuce (sorta a snore, we’re using for side salads), spinach (we used it as a topping on a homemade deep dish pizza last night), kale (sauteed with shallots and garlic and lemon and served alongside leftover grilled chicken after a late night at work on Friday). With the leftover spinach, we’ll make this awesome bean dish, which is hearty enough to serve as a main course. The real toughie in the box was rhubarb, which hubs and I have never cooked with. We’re making a strawberry-rhubarb crisp tonight to follow hubs’s pulled pork and my homemade potato salad (with real mayo, no store stuff!).

You can see why I really should run 8 miles every day, right?


Meanwhile, we spent Memorial Day weekend planting veggies, herbs and some flowers. We also bought some cushions for the wrought iron furniture on our (tiny) front and back decks. We’ve live in this apartment for three years and had never done all of this! OMG, now I could literally live (with a book and a glass of vino) on my back deck. It. Rocks. (Dudes, I went to Home Depot four times and Target two times in the course of three days!)

I must say that I melted a bit watching hubs get down and dirty with the plants as we potted them last weekend. He keeps checking on them, too, making sure they have enough water and remarking on the weather and how the sun or clouds might effect them. 🙂 Ohhh, my sensitive little heart. Imagine if I ever get to see him with our baby?


We’ve also been decently social lately. (Ugh, I’ve been such a little hermit. Especially with the break…I just…I have nothing to say to anyone right now and it’s horrible, I know, but it’s how I feel.) We went to a birthday party for a college friend on Tuesday night. I was sooooooo not in the mood to be social and celebratory, but I sacked up. It ended up being a fun party and it was distracting. It majorly helped that the group we were hanging with was mostly singletons, so babiesbabiesbabiesbabies = not on their minds. Thursday night we went to a spur of the moment dinner at a restaurant called Schwa with some friends. That was freaking awesome. (More on that in another post. We went to THE BEST restaurant in Chicago/possibly the country and it’s not really fair I’m acting all, Ohhh, whatevs, I’m being social about one of the best meals of my entire life!!!)


We have our consult with the new RE on Thursday morning. I’m sure I’ll get nervous in a few days, but for now I’m just excited. I wonder what this new RE will think of my treatment thus far? I’m worried he’ll look at my nine months with clinic #1 and say, “I cannot freaking believe they had you on Clomid three times given your hormone levels!!!!” or something like that. I’m equally worried he WON’T say something along those lines. 🙂 Oh geez, can I give an RE a break?

Anyway, T-minus 3-days until the Dr. Awesome consult. Looking forward to the appointment takes a bit of the sting out of my daily cocktail of BCPs, Pre-Naties, supp supps, etc. I’m gonna run and cook and garden my way through Thursday.



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15 responses to “Meandering through June

  1. You sound so good. I am so amazed at you running that much. I’m glad that it helped you to feel better and more like yourself again.

    I have thought about joining a csa, but I wouldn’t know what to do with some of it and I probably couldn’t eat a lot of it because of my stomach issues. What your doing with all of it sounds great though.

    I really hope the consult with Dr. Awesome goes well. If he changes something you can feel happy that you are trying something new that might work. If he doesn’t change anything than you can feel comforted your on the right track.

  2. AL

    1. you’re a badass for being able to run 8 miles I’m totally jealous…I trudged through three last Wednesday…

    2. Best of luck with your consult with Dr. Awesome, can’t wait to hear how it goes.

    3. Glad you’re having fun being social. I’m trying too, my true test will be at a bachelorette party next weekend…we’ll see how that goes…

  3. I love this post – I love that you are totally honest about how much this break stinks, but also so willing and able to get through it with intense running, satisfying gardening, awesome food and lots of other good stuff. I’m so glad to read about your great weekend…totally jealous about Schwa, BTW! I’ve tried to get reservations and they never call back!
    Good luck on Thursday – it’s so close!

  4. Your cooking sounds wonderful. And I’m glad the makes you feel better (and counteract the cooking 😉
    Good luck with Dr. Awesome!

  5. It sounds like you are making the most of this break, and I’m proud of you for that. The running and gardening are great ways to channel your energy while you wait to cycle again. I’m also totally jealous that you joined a CSA. Did you get a full or half share? You’ll have to tell me how it works out. I’ve been wanting to join one for years now, but Lawyer Guy thinks will have all this extra produce rotting in the fridge that we never do anything with, so he won’t let me 😦

    I am excited for your new RE visit. At the very least, you’ll get a sense of how your current RE’s approach fits into the specialty more generally, and at the best you’ll feel like you found a doctor that you can truly trust to work with you.

  6. YOU ARE AWESOME. Your running is awesome, your cooking is awesome, your gardening with your hubs is awesome, your mindset it awesome, and your upcoming appoinment with Dr. Awesome is awesome!

    That is all 🙂

  7. You are sounding full of life! Fresh herb garden, wine on the patio, 8 mile runs and an amazing social life. Can’t wait to hear what your 2nd opinion has to say. I sorta hope this doctor does have a radically different approach that can keep you cyst free and give you another tortuous 2ww.

  8. Good Luck with Dr. Awesome this week! I hope everything goes well! Thinking of you…..

  9. I can’t wait to hear how your consult with Dr. Awesome goes!

  10. leslie

    Life sounds decently complicated and wonderful and wistful and hopeful and all that other stuff thrown in… I am jealous of your plants! I miss having a garden. And I also just read your last post, and I think you should be just as hopeful as anyone. You only had ONE 2ww. No time to give up hope now! You’ll probably be knocked up on wait #2 or #3…

  11. I am very impressed with all your endeavours! Way to keep living during your hiatus!

    Wishing you a great appointment – looking forward to hearing all about it!


  12. Is it sad that I am SO ready to hear about the restaurant?

    We did a CSA two years ago and unfortunately it wasn’t a great experience for us. It was very expensive, and unfortunately it happened to be an extremely bad year for the farm: every week we’d get a small box of stuff and a note that said something like “Well, the deer ate all of the potatoes, and the broccoli can’t grow in all this rain….” I love the idea of it, but we couldn’t afford to pay for no vegetables, so we stopped after a year. I know we were just unlucky, though, because we know several people who joined the SAME CSA the following year and had a great experience. Sounds like yours is at least starting out good!

  13. Hmmm…maybe I should start my own CSA and give people grub-infested radishes and slug-eaten beet leaves! Try cookin’ them apples! It sounds like there are nice things nested in among your metaphorical Endless Romaine Lettuce. I like to think of you on the deck enjoying summer!

  14. I’m so glad you are making the best of this break month!! You really are an awesome little egg! Kudos on the running, the socialness, and the super fun cooking…that sounds so cool by the way, what does CSA stand for? Anyways, I’m super pumped for your consult on Thursday and will be sending positive vibes your way!! Can’t wait to hear all about it, thinking of you!

  15. Kate

    Glad you are running…it’s my escape, too. Definitely try to keep yourself busy and away from people with babies or TTC. Hope the Dr Awesome appointment goes well!

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