You know how I’ve been to a half-dozen out of town weddings recently? Well, I just bailed on the final one that’s the last weekend in July after RSVPing “yes” two weeks ago. I hemmed and hawed over sending that RSVP, but ultimately decided that there was a VERY slim chance I would be cycling and unable to go. Plus, the wedding is in my hometown and thanks to this spring and summer filled with weddings and monitoring, I haven’t flown home to see my siblings and parents since CHRISTMAS! I was excited to go home.
But our priority is making a baby. With five months on the bench with those dang cysties since October, voluntarily sitting out a month just wasn’t an option for hubs and me after our second round of injects/IUI didn’t work. Honestly, I was really really relieved and happy when Dr. A gave me the green light to cycle after Saturday’s baseline monitoring.
So I made up an excuse and last night I told my childhood friend that I could not be at her wedding. (Absolutely nooooo desire to share my very private medical situation with anyone but hubs, my parents, and you guys!) She said she was “bummed but understood.” And now I’ll give the same party-line to my little brother and little sister and older brother (who was maybe going to fly home that weekend, too, so we could all be together). And even though I know this is the time to put hubs and me first, and to take care of my body and put the rest of my life on hold so I can be here for treatment, I still feel like a selfish jerk. You know?
Oh well, it’ll all be okay. Zen zen zen zen.