Please don’t freak out or worry because then I will freak out and be worried.
I woke up early to hit the gym for a mini ellip session and as I was puttering around the apartment getting myself together, I suddenly felt a sharp pain in what I think is my right ovary region. The pain is not even close to excruciating, but it’s scary since I’m already on a red alert anxiety level of 10+. Anyway, the sharp, super-specific pain comes and goes and is maybe a 5 on a scale of 1 to 10. It’s there—and it continues to be there intermittently—but not so uncomfie I felt like I couldn’t come to work or need to go home or anything. (Obviously I did not go to the gym this morning.) It seems to be worse after I’ve been sitting and suddenly get up. But it’s always just kinda there, coming in and out of focus.
My immediate reaction was that it is the cyst on my right ovary either rupturing or growing. Or maybe something’s up with that fluid pocket/shadow they saw on the u/s on Friday? But then I began Googling and let me just tell you there is some incredibly doomsday-ish stuff out there that pops up when you enter the right (or wrong!) words. Not. Cool.
So I could’ve just rolled with this and ignored it because it’s not THAT bad, or whatever, but I called the RE’s office because I wanted a nurse to tell me it was nothing to worry about. I had to leave a message. Then I sat through my performace review at work with my two bosses and honestly it was kind of ridiculous how incredibly distracted I was. (Perfect timing, while discussing my future and my strengths and weaknesses and all of that serious work stuff. Gah!) Right after that totally-important-meeting-I-was-indifferent-about-given-my-circumstances, the nurse and I talked. She didn’t really venture to guess what was going on—though she liked my cyst idea and reminded me that my ovaries are still enlarged from the stims—asked me to come in for an ultrasound tomorrow. And she said if the pain worsens I need to go to the ER.
All of that sounds very serious anad scary and I honestly just wanted the reassuring Mom-ish voice on the other end to tell me not to worry one little bit. Ha!
I hope and pray and hope and pray and hope and pray—with all of my heart and every cell in me—that everything is okay on that screen tomorrow morning. I hope that little sac is a few days bigger. I hope….so much.
In happier news, we leave for VACATION tomorrow afternoon…Oregon here we come! So I will be out of the blogland loop for about a week. (And I’m sorry I’m already a bit behind but between my early deadlines with vacay and the review stuff this week has been nutso.) This also means no Google for me, which is a long time coming. I’m hoping the distraction does me some good—and I’m really looking forward to QT with hubs and the gorgeous northwest scenery. At any rate, I’ll do a quickie update before we head to the airport.
Hopefully I can fall asleep tonight. I’ve felt a bit vomit-ous with anxiety most of the day, to be perfectly honest. (Unfort not morning sickness….still no symptoms here.)
Zen zen zen zen.