I have not taken one second of my new state for granted. Yes, I’m pretty much constantly consumed with anxiety all the time, but literally every moment feels like a blessing. IF has taught me what a miracle it is to create a life, and I am in awe of my body and hubs’s body, and of science, and of awesome doctors. I mean, a year ago I was a girl who didn’t ovulate and couldn’t get her lining past 3.2mm….now I have two tiny growing embryos inside me. How did this happen? How did I get so lucky? I never thought I would be where I am, even though we were working so hard for it, and investing so much in it. I just….I never thought, I couldn’t imagine it, I didn’t believe I would get to be so lucky. It is like a dream come true, and it’s melted me into a puddle of respect and gratefulness and love.
Right now I’m literally shaking with relief and happiness. I had my first OB-GYN appointment this afternoon and both the babies looks great. They were big enough for crown-to-rump measurements and they were at 8w6d. So I zipped ahead a few days, yip!
There were many, many cool parts about the appointment, but the biggest one was my doctor, who I adore. She is really smart, really kind, and really chill (she told me it’s fine to run and do the ellip until she tells me it’s not fine; absolutely not to worry about my lack of nausea and breast soreness; flying is fine; etc). I totally clicked with her. She’s like a female version of Dr. Awesome, my RE, and that is pretty much PERFECTION. I’m nicknaming her Dr. Zen…so you know this is real love. Plus, the office is really beautiful and peaceful and I’m kinda obsessed with everything about it.
The other cool thing about the appointment was that—surprise!—we got to do a 3D ultrasound. (It was done on my my tum, not internal….whoa!) Ummm, amazing. For the first time it didn’t look like Baby A was totally squishing Baby B. And the detail was so good that I could make out little feet—both sets were up in the air like the babies were lounging at the beach. My little beach bums. 🙂 It was honestly the sweetest, awesomest thing I’ve seen in my entire life. Dr. Zen was so lovely during the ultrasound, she kept saying, Beautiful! These kiddos look perfect! And other reassuring stuff like that, while she would pat my knee. I heart her you guys, I really really do.
FYI, the reason for the 3D ultrasound was that the normal run-of-the-mill 2D ultrasound she did showed a suspect spot that looked like a third gestational sac that had an “echo reading” (heartbeat). Yes, I am serious. Dr. Zen kept saying, “Don’t freak out, I’m sure it’s not another baby, it’s probably a mirror image reading.” But she was concerned enough to have a special tech do a special ultrasound to count up the babies. Apparently in “thin” (haha) women, 2D ultrasounds can sometimes create this disturbing mirror image effect…which might’ve made it look like another sac. They also think it could’ve been my awfully enlarged right ovary, which continues to give me stabby pains. At any rate, just TWO babies. It was an intense moment there, let me tell you.
The rest the (long) appointment was filled with blood work, a flu shot, a pap smear (I had no idea that you could get those in pregnancy, also it was a long painful road to my cervix thanks to almost 7 weeks worth of Crinone buildup, groooooss), breast exam, internal and external uterus exam, medical history, pregnancy 101 info, genetic screening info, etc etc etc. Thank goodness I’d arranged to have someone cover for me at at work.
But that’s it for a few weeks….no more ultrasounds til my 12 week regular OB check-up and NT scan. I have been SO spoiled with these, basically, weekly ultrasounds. How will I survive? I’m hoping I can ride this ridiculous high all the way into October. I promise to find some other stuff to blog about in the meantime.