I keep thinking about things I’d like to post, but I get distracted. So here’s another bulleted post of this-n-that in the meantime!
- I am so incredibly happy. 🙂 Snuggling the babies melts me into a puddle of pure love and awe. I can’t believe how LUCKY we are. We love our sweet little babies so so so so SO much. Thank you, lord, for bringing them into the world safe and sound. I still can’t even believe this is my life, I am so grateful!!!!
- We were so very very very lucky that our babies didn’t need NICU time. But they were born very small—even for their gestational age and for being twins. I am plagued with guilt about their size. Even though I know it’s not my “fault”— and that I ate and ate and ate to grow big, strong babies—I feel responsible. Why can’t I let this guilt and anxiety go and just be 110% thankful to my body for all that it accomplished?
- Since the morning after we got discharged from the hospital, we’ve been going to the pediatrician every 3 to 7 days for weigh-ins. At the last check-up, they had gained weight for the first time. (Yip!!!) They still haven’t made it back up to their birth weights, but I think we are getting close. Their little tummies and cheeks seem to be filling out and they eat like champs.
- To help them gain weight, our ped has us on a strict every-2-hours eating schedule. Plus, we feed a baby whenever he/she is hungry even if it hasn’t been two hours….all to maximize weight gain. This makes for, literally, round the clock feeds. I’m trying to breast feed them more often (in the beginning I wasn’t allowed to do it much because the babies spend precious calories on the breast) because the current process is awfully time consuming (change a diaper, try to get a baby to take some milk from the boob, feed the baby a bottle, maybe change another diaper, pump, make a bottle, wash the pumping parts…..and repeat with the next baby). Whew!
- Seeing pics of other newborns kind of makes my jaw drop. Other infants look SO FREAKING HUGE! I know we will look back on these tiny, feedings-every-hour days very fondly, but right now I am so so so looking forward to those “3 hours” in between feeds that other new Moms talk about. And also to our babies chubbing up. They only have a few outfits they fit in and it kills me seeing their skinny, wrinkly legs and arms, just waiting for fat deposits. Sweet little babies.
- I cannot wait for the spring weather to arrive and for the babies to be big and strong enough for me to take them on walks by the lake and out and about! Grow babies, grow!!!
- It is SO AWESOME not being on bedrest. I have been having a blast taking out the trash, walking all over the apartment, cooking dinner, simple stuff!….in retrospect, I can see what a toll bedrest was taking on my mental and emotional state.
- Speaking of emotional states….I feel overwhelmed and exhausted a lot of the time, but cuddling with the babies always makes me feel on top of the world. There are even brief and glowing moments of “Okay, I think I might have some semblance of a handle on all of this and everything is going to be just fine.” Those fleeting moments are usually right after a hot shower, a gulp of coffee or a sip of wine. 🙂