Tag Archives: 32 weeks

Hanging in

We had a GREAT appointment this morning.

  • My cervix is still totally effaced, but Dr. Zen said maybe she could feel a tiny bit of length. I will TAKE IT!
  • My cervix is still a “loose 1cm.” It doesn’t get any better than “no change” at this point. Yip yip yip!
  • We had a growth scan and Baby A is measure 4 pounds 5 ounces and Baby B is 4 pounds 4 ounces. Baby A’s head is waaaaaaay low. Like, so low that the tech was pressing the u/s probe well below my pubic bone. Yikes! No wonder I feel a ton of pressure even laying around on bedrest.
  • I talk to the babies a lot lately. I have been telling Baby A all day that he needs to stay chill and not bump up against my cervie. And then I tell Baby B not to kick her brother and push him down any more. We need the babies to stay chill. Hubs keeps reminding them that they are getting awesome food in utero (homemade Sheperd’s Pie, chili, burgers, shakes, etc.) and that they won’t eat this well again for years….so they should stay put and really enjoy it while they can!
  • The tech said that she could see Baby A practicing his breathing. Awesome job, sweet little guy!
  • I gained 2 pounds in the past week so I am back up to my weight 3 weeks ago, or 28 pounds total. I continue to eat protein and milkshakes like it’s my job. Because, seriously, it is.
  • My blood pressure was a little high. It almost got me sent to L&D for a pre-eclampsia work-up. They checked it several times…ay yi yi. Fortunately Dr. Zen chalked it up to my nerves about the cervix check, but I heard her telling the nurse we need to keep an eye on it.
  • This is a little embarrassing, but I had to fill out a depression screening form today and Dr. Zen kept telling me I need be calm. I think the midwife who checked me last week must’ve written “This patient is crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyy” on my chart last week. I explained to her, and to Dr. Zen again today, that I am not depressed. I am just scared! And when I am scared, I get teary-eyed. I love my babies so much and want them to have the best start in life possible. I am doing better at managing my fears and emotions…every day we make it is a major boost to my heart and psyche.
  • I downloaded some meditations on iTunes last week and have been listening to them every other day. And I am avoiding bad karma in every way I possibly can. (Including deleting the mean anon comment I got over the weekend. I 200% get it: I am totally and completely lucky to be pregnant, even if I am at severe risk of delivering preemie babies who will be in the NICU for weeks or months. If it bugs you to read what’s up with me, please don’t visit my blog!)

I think that’s it. I am very happy to be where I am today. Thank you lord, for our sweet babies and for letting us come this far. I continue my mantra: One more day, one more day, one more day. All I can do is think about today. Today today today. We love you so much sweet litte Baby A and Baby B.



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32 weeks!!!!!!!

Thank you lord! Thank you lord! Thank you lord!

I went to the OB on Monday and was still completely effaced (cervical length = 0cm) with dilation hanging on at 1cm. I had lost 2 pounds over the week, which is crazy since I’d been laying down and eating plenty. (I think it was muscle mass. But, I’m at 26 pounds total weight gain now, must improve that number and fatten up those babies!) All in all, after feeling like I was going to puke with anxiety en route to the appointment, it went beautifully. The effacement thing hurts my heart, but there is nothing to be done about it.

I don’t know what today will bring, or if I will make it to Monday’s check-in at the OB. But I definitely celebrate how far we have come since Valentine’s Day….which feels like it was about a year ago. Of course, I feel like a ticking time bomb—labor could strike at any moment. But I am staying horizontal and hydrating and distracting myself as best I can.

We continue to hope and pray for one more day for the babies. All I can think about is today! We love you sweet little Baby A and Baby B.

PS Hugest congratulations to my dear friend, AplusB, who had her two beautiful, chubby baby girls last night!!! So very very very happy for her!


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