It was nice knowing ya, Yoda Egg

CD10 monitoring this a.m. My lining went from 5mm to 3.6mm. My jaw sorta dropped in disbelief at this news, which inspired the tech to re-measure it. “4.1!” she exclaimed happily. Riiiiight.

How the frack does my lining go down by 1.4mm when I have the bruises and holes in my stomach from 15 injections to prove that I should be producing copious amounts of estrogen?

I’m worried that my 7.3mm lining was a complete fluke last cycle. I’m afraid that the tech mis-measured it and it was really much thinner. I’m scared that my lining problems are back. I don’t know you guys, this lining thing has me reeling a bit.

It’s like, just when I think I’ve got my body figured out (cysts, okay I can endure them; slow-growing follies, fine, I take a long time to stim), it throws something else at me. Seriously, what the heck body? Geeeeeez.

Then I made the VERY big mistake of texting my Mom an update. She texted back, “You should’ve cycled with clinic #2.” Thanks, Mom! That makes me feel awesome. (Also, I think she’s wrong. Dr. Awesome wanted to use the same dose of Gonal-F and no Luveris. I’m happy we’re giving the Luveris a chance. I don’t think the Luveris thins my lining. This is my body’s fault.)

I feel like going home and just crying under the covers for a couple hours and then taking a long walk to get myself together. But that’s not happening. Work is incredibly busy and stressful on Fridays and I’ll be here late. I’m hoping the nurse has some words of wisdom when I get my dosing update, but I can already see how that convo will go.

Me: “So, what’s up with my lining, why did it thin out?”

Nurse: “I know, we’re surprised, too! Sometimes that happens and no one knows why.”

Me: “I haven’t been bleeding, where does the lining go?”

Nurse: “Hmmm, good question. You’ll have to ask the doctor.”

Me: “Why am I not making enough estrogen to thicken my lining? Should I be on a higher dose of meds?”

Nurse: “I really have absolutely no idea how any of this works and I’m not allowed to comment or speculate or soothe you. My job is to draw blood. You’ll have to ask the doctor.”

Me: “Okay, can you have Dr. K call me back?”

Nurse: “Ohhh, sorry. She’s not on call today.”

The upside of all of this is that my follies are still too small to measure, except for one on rightie, who’s at 10.5mm. So here’s what I’m repeating to myself: Once they start growing and I’m making more estrogen, my lining will fluff up again. It’s much, much too early to freak out or be down. Things can only improve from here….

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15 Comments

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15 responses to “It was nice knowing ya, Yoda Egg

  1. “where does the lining go?”. indeed. how could the nurse not explain that one? that is baffling and i’m just hoping that you got a dumb nurse who can’t measure for $hit. bc i don’t get it, as i know you don’t. ugh, i’m sooo sorry. but there is time for that sucker to fluff up, and i’m pulling hard for you. let’s just chalk this up to one of histories mysteries, yes? and pray that it’s a nonissue going forward.

    one of my blogger buddies did estrogen priming this ivf round bc of her thin linings in the past. and she got past 9mm on day 10 of stims. maybe you can ask about this?

    sending hugs.

  2. UGH, I am so sorry for the lining issue. I’ll be praying you’re right and it will thicken up once those follies get going!!

  3. I’m so sorry Egg. How incredibly frustrating. Isn’t lining related to follicle development? I think you’re right on that once your follies start growing your lining will, too. Also, I think it’s normal for lining to fluctuate. I remember one appointment when the tech took the average three different measurements because it’s not necessarily uniformly thick. Also, my lining got thinner at one appointment and the tech said that was normal. Hang in there…it’s still early in the cycle, so don’t count yourself out yet!!

  4. Sorry about the crappy monitoring appointment! I hate that they have people call you back that can’t answer any questions. So unhelpful! I am hoping that your lining fluffs up. Chin up!

  5. Argh, I’m sorry. Where did that lining go, indeed? (As an aside, how accurate are ultrasounds? Can they really see fractions of millimeters? I only ever see black and white noise, and hope that this is my lack of training…)
    Fingers crossed that it will magically come back just as it went. And that the follies grow properly.

  6. Tarah

    *hugs* Egg that SUCKS big time and it’s NOT FAIR! I would have pitched a fit then & there, you are much more composed than I am. 🙂

    I don’t blame you one bit for wanting to go home and cry. I hope you get a cry in this weekend, and then do something for you. A mani/pedi or whatever.

    I hope you’re right that it’ll “fluff up” again. My fingers are crossed tightly for you.

  7. AAARG! WTF! And I’m so sorry this is happening, and on a Friday, when your chances of getting information are low. Does Dr. K do e-mail? I really want someone to reassure you, STAT!

    I will be sending fluffy thoughts (you know, of towels out of the dryer, and ducklings, and kittens, and big, plump, recently shaken duvets) in your ute’s direction…

  8. zully

    I agree, this can only get better from here. Maybe they can increase your dosage so your linning gets thicker, that’s what they did with me. Hang in there my friend! Big Hug!

  9. *hugs* I am so sorry your lining isn’t listening to what it’s supposed to do. Have you been doing your normal lining routine with the supplements? I do know every cycle is different, but it just isn’t fair. My nurses are the same way with oh you will have to talk to the doctor. I hope your follies and your lining start growing soon.

  10. Grrrr – that nurse sounds like a peach! You’re right – it’s still early and your follies and lining have lots of time…sending fluffy thoughts!
    Love,
    Maddy

  11. WTF? I don’t know what I’m sorry about–the lining or the bitchy nurse. Actually, it IS her job to comment and to soothe you. UGH. I have my fingers crossed that things will be back on track for your next appointment. When do you go back in?

  12. Kate

    ARGH! A good cry and long walk sounds like a good release. I’m sorry. This is so frustrating. And, re: your mom…shoulda, coulda, woulda. We always think we should have been omniscient and seen everything that was coming 10 steps down the road…but we can (me, for ex, I SHOULD have done a fresh cycle NOT the frozen cycle…I should have seen that it wouldn’t work…) We make the best decisions we could have given our knowledge at the time.

  13. Kate

    um, I meant, we can’t not we can.

  14. Mara

    Oh geez. That nurse! Enduring conversations like that are my least favorite thing about infertility.

    I do think that when your follicles pick up, so will your lining. If your largest in 10.5, I think where you are at is totally fine.

    I’m not really sure where the lining goes, but I know that the body can “absorb” vanishing twins – maybe it can absorb lining too? Or maybe the lining was unchanged and the tech’s measurements were just off. That would not surprise me at all, either.

    Hang in there.

  15. That’s so annoying and disheartening. I hope those slow and steady follicles of yours give your lining lots of time to catch up. There’s still time!

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