CD10 monitoring this a.m. My lining went from 5mm to 3.6mm. My jaw sorta dropped in disbelief at this news, which inspired the tech to re-measure it. “4.1!” she exclaimed happily. Riiiiight.
How the frack does my lining go down by 1.4mm when I have the bruises and holes in my stomach from 15 injections to prove that I should be producing copious amounts of estrogen?
I’m worried that my 7.3mm lining was a complete fluke last cycle. I’m afraid that the tech mis-measured it and it was really much thinner. I’m scared that my lining problems are back. I don’t know you guys, this lining thing has me reeling a bit.
It’s like, just when I think I’ve got my body figured out (cysts, okay I can endure them; slow-growing follies, fine, I take a long time to stim), it throws something else at me. Seriously, what the heck body? Geeeeeez.
Then I made the VERY big mistake of texting my Mom an update. She texted back, “You should’ve cycled with clinic #2.” Thanks, Mom! That makes me feel awesome. (Also, I think she’s wrong. Dr. Awesome wanted to use the same dose of Gonal-F and no Luveris. I’m happy we’re giving the Luveris a chance. I don’t think the Luveris thins my lining. This is my body’s fault.)
I feel like going home and just crying under the covers for a couple hours and then taking a long walk to get myself together. But that’s not happening. Work is incredibly busy and stressful on Fridays and I’ll be here late. I’m hoping the nurse has some words of wisdom when I get my dosing update, but I can already see how that convo will go.
Me: “So, what’s up with my lining, why did it thin out?”
Nurse: “I know, we’re surprised, too! Sometimes that happens and no one knows why.”
Me: “I haven’t been bleeding, where does the lining go?”
Nurse: “Hmmm, good question. You’ll have to ask the doctor.”
Me: “Why am I not making enough estrogen to thicken my lining? Should I be on a higher dose of meds?”
Nurse: “I really have absolutely no idea how any of this works and I’m not allowed to comment or speculate or soothe you. My job is to draw blood. You’ll have to ask the doctor.”
Me: “Okay, can you have Dr. K call me back?”
Nurse: “Ohhh, sorry. She’s not on call today.”
The upside of all of this is that my follies are still too small to measure, except for one on rightie, who’s at 10.5mm. So here’s what I’m repeating to myself: Once they start growing and I’m making more estrogen, my lining will fluff up again. It’s much, much too early to freak out or be down. Things can only improve from here….