Another Monday, another OB appt

But this was a good one! At 34w3d, I’m still 3cm dilated (and 100% effaced). I’ve had a lot of snotty discharge and pelvic pressure since Thursday’s appointments, so I was tooooooooooooootally shocked to hear my cervix has hung in there at 3cm. THANK YOU LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know from doing research online and reading blogs that it’s HIGHLY likely babies born before 36 weeks will need a good amount of NICU time, but we have come so far from Valentine’s Day. I am so so so grateful. Keep growing big and strong in there, sweet little babies.

Dr. Zen also said that at this point my bedrest restrictions are lifted. WHAT!!??? I feel like we’ve got a good thing going here….me progressing and then hanging out for a bit, the babies staying put, minimal contractions, etc (no jinxies!). She says there is nothing I can do to stop or start labor at this point. If it’s going to happen, it’ll happen whether or not I’m horizontal on my couch.

She could see I was pretty freaked out by the idea of messing with bedrest and said to do whatever makes me comfortable. But she did encourage me to leave the house for one outing a day. I have only left the apartment for OB appointments this month. It feels so weird to have permission to GO SOMEWHERE. I mean, I don’t even go to the other end of the apartment unless I need food or a shower…..(Now that I’m reflecting on this I wonder if they want you to get up to help out your muscle tone etc, so you’re not a total limp dishrag for birth?)

I don’t think I’ll actually change anything, to be honest, but it feels pretty freaking AWESOME to not feel sick and helpless for the first time in a long time.

We love you so so so so so so so so much, Baby A and Baby B. Stay put in there!!! We can’t wait to meet you, but you have more growing and developing to do! Stay strong, cervie! Stay chill, ute! One more day, one more day, one more day.

Still here

I had another OB check-up today, because of Monday’s drama. My cervie is managing to hold steady at 3cm, with no length. Thank you cervie, thank you babies! And thank you ute, for not contracting much the past few days! It was SUCH A RELIEF.

I’d noticed the crazy bulge I have on my right upper quadrant (aka Baby B) had felt different over the past couple of days and maybe was more focused along my right side. Turns out Baby B has moved into head-down position. Which is funny because hubs and I gave up on telling her to do that about six weeks ago. Of course a million different complications may mean that I’ll have a c-section, but for right now, vag-delivery still looks possible.

Baby A has always been head-down, but he’s super-duper vertex these days—bumping up against my cervie, totally engaged in my pelvis and ready to go. And, oh boy, I can tell, I have so much pelvic pressure! It’s hard to feel him in this position, actually, which has been wigging me out a little bit. But he fortunately gets the hiccups a couple of times a day so I know he’s there, doing okay.

My blood pressure was really high again. (I get SO hyped up for appointments nowadays.) But they let me go home since it wasn’t as bad as Monday and I’d just been screened for pre-e while at the hospital. But now I have to start taking my blood pressure at home at least 3x/day.

My one more day mantra is in FULL FORCE right now. One more day, one more day, one more day. If we can make it through today, we will be at 34 weeks. 10 hours to go….

Hanging in

We had a GREAT appointment this morning.

• My cervix is still totally effaced, but Dr. Zen said maybe she could feel a tiny bit of length. I will TAKE IT!
• My cervix is still a “loose 1cm.” It doesn’t get any better than “no change” at this point. Yip yip yip!
• We had a growth scan and Baby A is measure 4 pounds 5 ounces and Baby B is 4 pounds 4 ounces. Baby A’s head is waaaaaaay low. Like, so low that the tech was pressing the u/s probe well below my pubic bone. Yikes! No wonder I feel a ton of pressure even laying around on bedrest.
• I talk to the babies a lot lately. I have been telling Baby A all day that he needs to stay chill and not bump up against my cervie. And then I tell Baby B not to kick her brother and push him down any more. We need the babies to stay chill. Hubs keeps reminding them that they are getting awesome food in utero (homemade Sheperd’s Pie, chili, burgers, shakes, etc.) and that they won’t eat this well again for years….so they should stay put and really enjoy it while they can!
• The tech said that she could see Baby A practicing his breathing. Awesome job, sweet little guy!
• I gained 2 pounds in the past week so I am back up to my weight 3 weeks ago, or 28 pounds total. I continue to eat protein and milkshakes like it’s my job. Because, seriously, it is.
• My blood pressure was a little high. It almost got me sent to L&D for a pre-eclampsia work-up. They checked it several times…ay yi yi. Fortunately Dr. Zen chalked it up to my nerves about the cervix check, but I heard her telling the nurse we need to keep an eye on it.
• This is a little embarrassing, but I had to fill out a depression screening form today and Dr. Zen kept telling me I need be calm. I think the midwife who checked me last week must’ve written “This patient is crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyy” on my chart last week. I explained to her, and to Dr. Zen again today, that I am not depressed. I am just scared! And when I am scared, I get teary-eyed. I love my babies so much and want them to have the best start in life possible. I am doing better at managing my fears and emotions…every day we make it is a major boost to my heart and psyche.
• I downloaded some meditations on iTunes last week and have been listening to them every other day. And I am avoiding bad karma in every way I possibly can. (Including deleting the mean anon comment I got over the weekend. I 200% get it: I am totally and completely lucky to be pregnant, even if I am at severe risk of delivering preemie babies who will be in the NICU for weeks or months. If it bugs you to read what’s up with me, please don’t visit my blog!)

I think that’s it. I am very happy to be where I am today. Thank you lord, for our sweet babies and for letting us come this far. I continue my mantra: One more day, one more day, one more day. All I can do is think about today. Today today today. We love you so much sweet litte Baby A and Baby B.