Hanging in

We had a GREAT appointment this morning.

• My cervix is still totally effaced, but Dr. Zen said maybe she could feel a tiny bit of length. I will TAKE IT!
• My cervix is still a “loose 1cm.” It doesn’t get any better than “no change” at this point. Yip yip yip!
• We had a growth scan and Baby A is measure 4 pounds 5 ounces and Baby B is 4 pounds 4 ounces. Baby A’s head is waaaaaaay low. Like, so low that the tech was pressing the u/s probe well below my pubic bone. Yikes! No wonder I feel a ton of pressure even laying around on bedrest.
• I talk to the babies a lot lately. I have been telling Baby A all day that he needs to stay chill and not bump up against my cervie. And then I tell Baby B not to kick her brother and push him down any more. We need the babies to stay chill. Hubs keeps reminding them that they are getting awesome food in utero (homemade Sheperd’s Pie, chili, burgers, shakes, etc.) and that they won’t eat this well again for years….so they should stay put and really enjoy it while they can!
• The tech said that she could see Baby A practicing his breathing. Awesome job, sweet little guy!
• I gained 2 pounds in the past week so I am back up to my weight 3 weeks ago, or 28 pounds total. I continue to eat protein and milkshakes like it’s my job. Because, seriously, it is.
• My blood pressure was a little high. It almost got me sent to L&D for a pre-eclampsia work-up. They checked it several times…ay yi yi. Fortunately Dr. Zen chalked it up to my nerves about the cervix check, but I heard her telling the nurse we need to keep an eye on it.
• This is a little embarrassing, but I had to fill out a depression screening form today and Dr. Zen kept telling me I need be calm. I think the midwife who checked me last week must’ve written “This patient is crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyy” on my chart last week. I explained to her, and to Dr. Zen again today, that I am not depressed. I am just scared! And when I am scared, I get teary-eyed. I love my babies so much and want them to have the best start in life possible. I am doing better at managing my fears and emotions…every day we make it is a major boost to my heart and psyche.
• I downloaded some meditations on iTunes last week and have been listening to them every other day. And I am avoiding bad karma in every way I possibly can. (Including deleting the mean anon comment I got over the weekend. I 200% get it: I am totally and completely lucky to be pregnant, even if I am at severe risk of delivering preemie babies who will be in the NICU for weeks or months. If it bugs you to read what’s up with me, please don’t visit my blog!)

I think that’s it. I am very happy to be where I am today. Thank you lord, for our sweet babies and for letting us come this far. I continue my mantra: One more day, one more day, one more day. All I can do is think about today. Today today today. We love you so much sweet litte Baby A and Baby B.

Ahh, Dr. Zen

Alrighty, here is a big ‘ol 28 week update.

• I showed up for my 10am appointment having not eaten or drank anything since last night and they literally had no idea what kind of blood draw they were supposed to do with me, it was chaos for almost 45 minutes. I was like, PEOPLE! I would rather not beg you to draw my blood! I’m just following the OB’s orders! Whatever is going on, can I please just eat my breakfast?! They eventually sorted it out and we did my fasting blood draw and one-hour post-breakfast blood draw. The lab technician explained the confusion by saying, “It’s just so RARE we have people fail the 3-hour GTT.” Thanks dude. 🙂 I splurged on part of a milkshake AND a piece of apple pie on Saturday (with protein, promise!) so I hope that didn’t f- up my results. Oh well.
• The growth scan was awesome. Baby A (boy) is measuring 2 pounds 11 ounces and Baby B (girl) is measuring 2 pounds 9 ounces. Good good good job, sweet little babies! Keep growing big and strong!!!
• I got to see Dr. Zen for the first time since our 21 week anatomy scan! She is such a calm, soothing presence and is so honest and articulate. I really really really like her.
• Baby A is head down and Baby B is breech. Dr. Zen said that, barring the myriad complications that can happen at pretty much anytime now, she wants to do a vaginal delivery with me. This is my first choice, too, as I would like to experience labor. (I know, nutso.) I told her I would prefer the vag-delivery if I could have my druthers, but also that I am 100% comfortable doing whatever is best for the babies, whether that’s c-section or whatever.
• I can continue swimming, lifting, elliping, walking, working, sex, etc etc etc for as long as I feel up to it. Btw, I am not really feeling up to much these days. 🙂 Just sayin’.
• Dr. Zen said if I can make it to 36 weeks I’m going to be very big and uncomfortable and that she recommends working from home or working reduced hours, if possible. Unfort, that is NOT possible with my job. If I’m not at work, I’m not able to work. (Side note: I could maybe work from home on Mondays, this is something I’ve requested for post-maternity leave but my bosses are still thinking it over.) She understood the predicament and suggested I simply not take on any new projects starting at 36 weeks. (Oh, to make it to 36 weeks!)
• Because the twinsies’ feet are in about the same spot, I can’t differentiate movement from them individually. Dr. Zen said I should feel at least three bouts of movement a day.
• She did a manual cervie check and I’m long and closed. Phew.
• I gained one pound over two weeks, for a grand total of 23 pounds. This seems low to me, but Dr. Zen isn’t worried so I’m not going to be either. I was eating so weirdly for that week before I met with the R.D., I wonder if that’s to blame?
• We talked about Braxton Hicks. (Yes, I talk to EVERY doctor about BHs.) Leave it to Dr. Zen to finally make me understand them! She said, “You know when you get up from going to the bathroom and you have some tightness all over your stomach?” Yes, I do know that feeling. “Those are BHs.” So far, I don’t think I experience them much outside of the zillion and one times a day and night I go to the bathroom. We’ll see how long that lasts…
• What I do have: random shooting pains in my lady parts region. And random stabbing pains on the right or left side of my uterus. It is pretty cool that my body is doing weird stuff, and I try to focus on that and not panic! Sometimes at night I feel crampy-ish—like that heavy pre-period feeling—and it freaks me out because many bloggies describe the time right before labor in the same way. Again, zen zen zen zen. I am trying to trust that if something is wrong, or I’m going into labor, I will KNOW.
• Speaking of the bathroom, I’m seriously going a minimum of every 2 hours at night. It’s been like this for the past month. No wonder my right groin muscle kills from swinging it over my Snoog so much, this is what I’d call a chronic overuse injury.
• We’re scheduled to attend our first of two multiples birthing class on Wednesday night. Unfortunately, there’s a big blizzard heading straight for Chicago on Wednesday so I’m guessing it’ll get cancelled. Hopefully they will resked soon, we are now in the anything-can-happen–zone and I would really love to get this class in ASAP.
• I have not really blogged about it, but I am literally obsessed with the baby room we’re putting together.  Since we have not traveled or hosted guests the past two weekends, and since I’ve phased out all freelance work going forward, I’ve been able to make progress on all sorts of house projects on Saturdays and Sundays. It feels SO GOOD to cross some long-standing items off my long to-do list. Hubs is crazy-busy with some academic deadlines, but he’s a good egg and helps where he can. Stay tuned for deets.

It’s pretty crazy to be talking about labor and the baby room and ending work and all of that stuff. (Please let everything be okay!!) I am hoping and praying so hard that our sweet little babies keep growing big and strong and that I am able to keep them in as long as possible. So much is out of my control, I am going to just keep feeding them healthy foods, taking it easy when I can, resting as much as possible, exercising when I’m up to it, and working hard at work and at home to create the safest, happiest, most nurturing place possible for them when they are ready to meet hubs and me.

Keep on keeping on. Zen zen zen zen. Positive thinking. All of that good stuff!!!

Consult with the R.D.

Since I got the ‘ol GD diagnosis last Wednesday, I went crazy Googling and reaching out to women who had GD during pregnancy. And then I went a little crazy overhauling my diet….majorly cutting back on carbs and eating a lot more salads instead of sandwiches. The result: I have been hungry all week. Which I KNOW is not good for the babies, who need to grow big and strong!!!

Fortunately, what I was missing was some advice from an actual expert. I met with my clinic’s R.D. yesterday morning. I learned that I am seriously borderline…she was almost surprised my clinic sent me to her. But the rules about GD are becoming more stringent, and my clinic is dutifully applying their latest rules to people like me. (Women typically have to fail two of the blood draws to be diagnosed with GD, I failed one by less than 10 points…and I passed the fasting blood draw no problem…my OB and R.D. said that means I wouldn’t have been flagged had I done a traditional screening test that most clinics use.)

All of that said, I remain really grateful that my clinic is taking my results seriously. As bothersome as it might be to have to count carbs and stuff, I’d rather be safe than sorry. And who knows, once I begin my weekly blood draws (fasting level then breakfast at the doctor’s office, then another draw one hour later to see how my bod is dealing with glucose), maybe I’ll be failing left and right and we’ll all say SEEEEEE, the new rules are there for a reason!! But I’m hoping I can pass a few tests because then my clinic will just let me follow my new diet and go on my merry little non-blood draw way. 🙂

So here’s the gist….

• Carbs are NOT out, in fact, I should eat them at every meal and snack. But I need to count them and not exceed 175–200g in a day.
• I need to always eat protein with my carbs. So, instead of a plain apple, an apple with peanut butter smeared on it. Instead of a half a cupcake (yes! they are allowed!), a half a cupcake with a handful of nuts. Instead of my usual Cheerios for breakfast, a whole grain English muffin with an over-easy egg.
• I need to eat every 2–3.5 hours even if I’m not hungry.
• Exercise helps insulin do its job better (breaking down glucose so the body can use it efficiently). I’m adding back my morning calisthenics and weight lifting sessions in front of the Today Show, which I’d become soooo lazy on. It feels good! 🙂 And I’ll continue my weekend swims and EZ ellips sessions + upper body weight lifting.

That’s about it. We also talked about my uber-low iron levels, which haven’t improved since they came in so low at week 9—depsite the fact that I went on a daily iron supp and eat plenty of animal protein and leafy greens. My Mom and little sister have always had low-iron but I’m not sure about what my levels were like pre-pregnancy. Obviously, it’s nothing so bad that I was anemic or fatigued—I mean, I used to do marathons and half-ironman triathlons so I had the energy to train at a pretty intense level! The R.D. said iron levels are genetic and that even though my levels are “low,” they are clearly fine for my body. And the only I thing I care about—the health of the babies—is not in question: They get what they need from me. But, we’re splitting up when I take my supps to see if that makes a diff in how my bod absorbs it (iron and colace in the a.m., calcium + vitamin D, prenatie Rx and colace in the p.m.

I realize that I’m not having to do daily blood tests and insulin injections (and I really really really hope I don’t have to down the road!), but I want to put it out there that this is not the worst thing in the world. It was pretty cool to meet with a dietician who specializes in pregnancy. I got all sorts of cool info on calorie requirements for twinsie Moms and basic pregnancy nutrition advice. It’s stuff I wouldn’t have learned were it not for GD. Thanks, GD!

So, first blood draw on Monday. And that’s also the big monthly growth scan day. And I get to see Dr. Zen! (I’ve only met with her at 9 weeks and after the anatomy scan and I miss her.) For those who are counting, I am 27w5d. Inching toward the big 3T…please let everything continue to go smoothly and let our babies be perfect and healthy. Grow, sweet little babies, grow! I love you so much, I would do anything for you!

25-ish weeks

According to my IUI date, which was a Friday, I am 24 weeks and 6 days pregnant. But after my first OB appt placed the babies a few days ahead (size-wise), I have sorta gotten into the habit of counting Tuesday as the day the week changes. It’s like a half-birthday…and then every Friday is the REAL birthday. Confusing I know. But the upshot is that I am almost 25 weeks.

Yesterday was my first growth scan. Since I feel the babies moving every day—some days a lot more than others, and never the crazy activity I read about in some blogs, but definite movement that I can see thru my tummy at times!—I did not totally freak out before this appointment. (Thank you, babies!! Keep moving as much as you want! I love it and find it IMMENSELY comforting!!!) But I admit that AplusB’s recent L&D scare had me scribbling down pre-term labor-ish Qs for Dr. Zen’s partner.

The babies are looking good! Baby A (the boy) is at 1 pound 10 ounces and Baby B (the girl) is at 1 pound and 11 ounces. She has had a little growth spurt to move ahead of her brother—I think she’s loving the recipes we’ve been cooking up from the Julia Child’s cookbook hubs got me for Christmas. 🙂 Speaking of delicious food, I gained one pound in 2.5 weeks (which was kinda nice after gaining 5 pounds in 2 weeks at my last appointment—it had to be 90% egg nog!!). I’m at 20 pounds so far. Keeping growing big and strong and healthy sweet little babies!!!!!

I asked the OB what the heck contractions feel like and do I need to be worried about pre-term labor. So, basically, as I understand it, innocuous Braxton Hicks contractions just feel like your tum is tensing and then releasing. She said I’ve probably experienced them a fair amount by now. Ummm, not sure, should I know for sure? I do get a tensed-tummy feeling after sex (sorry for TMI), which sounds like BH, but I don’t ***think*** I’ve gotten them any other time. I don’t know, I’ll keep an eye out. She said the contrax they worry about at this point occur more than four times in an hour and usually feel like menstrual cramps. I have not felt any of those and am hoping and praying that I will continue to steer clear of them.

We talked about the fFN test, which some clinics seem to give to twin patients starting about now (according to my blog reading): basically this test measures a protein that can signal or not signal that labor may or may not be happening in the next 2 weeks. My chillaxed clinic doesn’t use the fFN. Like, ever, even if you have weird pre-term laborish symptoms. Ditto for bedrest, except in super-extreme cases—they just don’t believe it stops pre-term labor. And I can continue my swims and ellip sessions as long as I feel up to it. My clinic = so mellow! It’s good for me. (You know, zen zen zen zen.)

A word on the exercise. I don’t know if it’s because I got SO SPOILED over the holidays with sleeping-in and daily naps or what, but now that I’m back at work and back to reality (blah! work!), I’m feeling more zonked than ever and am not really “working out” except on weekend days. (I did manage to do some light weight-lifting/calisthenics in front of the Today Show before work this morning. Ha!)

Other stuff: I get breathless walking up a flight of stairs. I make little grunts when I pull on my undies thanks to my big belly (and I love that belly!). I’ve strained my groin muscle from chronically swinging my legs and belly over my Snoogle at least three times a night when I wake up to pee and contemplate the state of the world/my job/work deadlines/the babies/etc. My constie-ness is back (though not nearly as severe as it was at the beginning). I come home from work and just chill on my bed until it’s time to make dinner (or to watch hubs make it).

I say all of this so that it’s clear that I’m definitely not running around like the Energizer Bunny or anything. But, all of that said, I feel pretty freaking great (and, of course, so lucky to be where I am right now) and I sorta keep waiting for the other shoe to drop…..if that makes any sense.

At the end of the appointment, the doctor said, “Things can change quickly, so keep us posted if you have any concerns. But, it’s okay to feel good!”

So I’m just going to ride this honeymoon period as long as it lasts. 🙂

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