e.x.h.a.u.s.t.e.d.

Where have I been? I’ve been a busy busy bee with these two cuties. 

We had an AWESOME time at our college reunion last weekend. I’m going to do a whole separate post on traveling with newborns because I learned a ton from our adventure with our 9.5 week old babies. But the short version is: The babies rocked it and I am so so so so so glad that we went. I will treasure the memories forever and it was ridiculously surreal and wonderful to introduce Champ and Honey to our very best friends. Worth the exhaustion, for sure.

When we weren’t introducing our sweet little babies to friends, we were up late drinking beer and catching up with classmates we hadn’t seen in eons. It takes it out of you, drinking, talking for 15 hours a day, pumping (and dumping, blah) in dorm bathrooms….whew!

The morning after we got home, my Mom flew into town. It was her first visit since the babies were born and this one went a million times better. Never really got into that story on my blog, and I’m not going to, but suffice to say that hormones + sleep deprivation + my Mom’s anxiety about our little babies = not a great first visit.

We spent Tuesday shopping with the babies. Out to dinner (WITH THE BABIES) that night. More shopping on Wednesday. Then she watched the babies for us on Wednesday night while we went to a SUPER fancy dinner with some of our best friends from hubs’s graduate program, to celebrate their graduation. It was amazing and sooooo fun. But we got home after midnight and then were up every other hour with the babies. When the day officially begins at around 530am, a really late din takes a toll…

My Mom left Thursday night, then my three siblings arrived the next morning. The next three days were spent grilling out, going to an art fair, hanging in the apartment as a fam, dinner out (WITH THE BABIES!!), etc etc etc. Totally wonderful, but so tiring. Of course when it’s my family I shouldn’t feel pressure to be “on” and entertaining the entire time. But yet, I do. Because I want everyone to have fun, and I want to be a good host and a good daughter/sister, and the babies are up all night and so I just have felt like I’m barely staying afloat and basically it’s just been A LOT. You know?

In the midst of the visitors we were interviewing nannies and I called about a dozen references. Another post (always another post!) in itself. The great news is that (FINGERS CROSSED) we have stumbled upon an amazing woman and as heartbroken as I am about going back to work next month (crrrrrrrrry), I know the babies will be loved and nurtured and safe under the care of this person. Not the best time to be doing a nanny search (while we had visitors) but it had to happen that way as there is a lot of turnover with nannies in our ‘hood right now (professors and grad students leaving and their nannies becoming available) so we had to jump on meeting the best possible candidates.

Final reason for extreme fatigue: Our 11-week-old babies have not graduated beyond sleeping more than 3 hours at a time. Last night, I fed them at midnight, then hubs woke up with to a wailing Champ at 2 something but he wouldn’t eat. Then Honey woke up hungry as Hubs was putting Champ back to bed after changing his dipe, etc. Then Champ woke up hungry another hour later. And so on and so forth. We don’t sleep much. I seriously need half a pot of coffee every morning to make it through the day. Of course I am loving every second of maternity leave, but man, we are in a rough spell.

I’m not complaining. I adore caring for/doting upon/kissing/hugging/loving our beautiful babies and I love being with family and friends. I just need to say to someone besides hubs that I am tired. Like, bone-crushingly, my-stomach-hurts, how-can-I-keep-this-up tired. I treasure these moments with our babies when they are so young and sweet and little and the last thing I want to do is wish this precious time away…and yet I can’t help but dream of the days when they sleep more….

I am reallllllllllllllllllllllllly looking forward to a boring and mellow week on the home-front. Our next big airplane trip is for 4th of July and I think I’ll attempt gathering my strength until then! 🙂

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Confessions

Tons of random ramblings at 9-weeks-old….

  • It’s dangerous for me to go to the baby section at Target….everything is so cheap so I go a little too crazy! Can’t resist sundresses for Honey and polo onesies for Champ.
  • I remember when I was on bedrest, a lot of folks IRL and in blog comments told me the worrying never ever ends when you have kids. This is definitely true, but I must say that the relief that the babies made it into the world safe and sound still has not worn off. I do not miss the intense anxiety of pregnancy one bit.
  • Whenever someone asks me the babies’ birth weights, I tend to add a disclaimer along these lines: “But I ate a ton of cheeseburgers and sheperd’s pie and milk shakes and protein during pregnancy!” I need to let it go.
  • Even though I was anxious most of the time, I loved every moment of being pregnant. I was pretty worried I’d get the baby blues after birth, but I didn’t. I think being so grateful to be able to walk around and do chores and lift things again took the edge off (since I’d been on bedrest for weeks).
  • I’ve been getting phantom kicks since the babies came out.
  • The babies are tiny celebrities whenever I take them out. People go crazy for twins. They deserve the attention, sweet sweet things!!!!!
  • I’m still amazed and grateful and over the moon happy that I can breastfeed. I was so so so so so worried I wouldn’t be able to.
  • I love bonding with the babies while nursing, and I love providing nutritious breast milk for them, but pumping all of the time takes. a. toll.
  • Plus, I miss my small boobs. They never grew or got sore during pregnancy, then BAM, right after giving birth, they arrived. I can’t fit into any of my button-up shirts or old tops.
  • But it is pretty cool that hubs mentions how “awesome” my boobs are at least once a day. 🙂 I have a serious rack, it’s out of control.
  • Even though we’re NOWHERE close to thinking about more kids, I do hope and pray that my cycle/period magically comes back when I stop breastfeeding. I want it to work again. (Pregnancy has been shown to “re-set” the body in some anovulatory women.) I think about that way too much.
  • Even though I’m BFing AND I’m anovulatory, hubs and I are using condoms just to be really really really safe. It seems so strange to use protection, considering the lengths we went to for our babies.
  • Condoms suck.
  • I REFUSE TO GO BACK ON THE PILL. I still blame it for my anovulation.
  • I wish I was skinny for my college reunion this weekend. I know that’s totally vain, and I just had twins, and yada yada….but I just don’t feel comfie in my bod right now. I have these huge boobs, a mushy tummy, a soft jawline…it’s okay, it’s just hard to be on display, if that makes sense? OF COURSE our babies are 200% worth it.
  • Even though I miss my pre-IF figure, I will say that breastfeeding burns a ton of calories. I’m almost at my pre-pregnancy weight—which is insane considering the amount I eat these days—everything just seems to be situated totally differently.
  • I’m running (shuffling) a few times a week, too. I sent an excited text to my little sister last week that I was up to running for 33 minutes straight and she wrote back, “Only that long, are you injured?” Uhhhhhhh, thanks? She doesn’t get that even though I’m “a runner,” you can’t take this much time off, give birth, and then have the muscle strength or fitness to bang out a five-miler. Kids!
  • I picked up the babies’ birth certificates downtown yesterday afternoon and tears welled up when I saw their names on those official documents and after signing for them as “Mother.” Wow wow  wow. It will never ever get old, I am in awe of my amazing luck and life.

I think that’s enough random-ness for one night! xoxo

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Fave baby gear

Dear bloggie friends: This post is all baby talk and I totally and completely understand if you aren’t in the mood to read it…..

The babies had their 8-week check-up this morning and I am very very very happy to report they are growing and gaining weight like little champions! They are still really little, but they are chubbing up and our ped is pleased. Because of this, we are going to chill out and nix our extremely intense methodology for knowing how much they were eating each day (it involved weighing each bottle before and after feeds, a feeding log, excel spreadsheets and charts). YIP! They also had their first round of vaccinations (3 injections each plus an oral vaccination). Not much fun for either of them, but they were quickly soothed. I’m hoping they don’t get feverish or fussy today, but I’m prepared if they do and am giving them EVEN MORE cuddles than usual no matter what.

*****

A few commenters and IRL friends have been asking me about our fave twin gear so I thought I’d do a quickie run-down of the stuff we love. I’m sure every Mom has different likes and dislikes (and I would love to hear feedback!!), but this is what works for us so far….

Itzbeen We bought two of these genius gadgets, which have a series of timers corresponding to icons representing diaper change, feeding and sleep. We put a blue heart sticker on one and a pink heart sticker on the other and anytime we change or feed a baby, we press the timer re-set button. That way, we both ALWAYS know when each baby has last eaten/been changed/pooped/etc. We find it easier than calculating the timing from a spiral notebook, especially at night when hubs and I care for the babies in shifts.

Snap-n-go Ugly, a little rickety, hard to steer, etc, but sooooo crucial for car trips, when you don’t want to wake a baby up by moving him/her in and out of a carseat. You just snap the carseats into the stroller frame, then release them and snap them into the carseat bases in the car. I use the City Mini Duo for walks and errands in the ‘hood, but when I’m solo and taking the babies in the car, I use the SNG.

Fisher Price Rock ‘N Play swing We got these thanks to a tip from AplusB—who hubs and I visited about 12 hours before I went into labor. 🙂 I actually bought them online later that day and they arrived the day we came home from the hospital. Never ever would’ve guessed how much we would use them. We stick the babies in them for naps or quiet time. The incline has been awesome for Honey’s digestion issues. And because they are so lightweight, we can move the babes all over the apartment in them, depending on what room we’re hanging out in. We also have the Bjorn and Mama Roo bouncers, and we use them, but these cheap-o swings get used all.the.time.

Ring Sling We haven’t used our Baby Bjorn carriers yet and I know they will get a ton of use, but for random daily chores around the house, I’m really happy I have a sling. I know everyone loooooves the Moby, but with twins, I find it useful to have a sling I can just throw on without spending 5 minutes tying it correctly. Honey loves to be held and she loves doing chores with me, so I’ll stick her in our sling a fair amount to accomplish both at once. I mention this because I never had considered getting a sling (what would I need one sling for with two babies?) before Champ and Honey arrived.

Boppy I registered for one on whim and almost returned it. But then the babies came and I used it SO MUCH that I got a second one!! I use the Boppys for nursing, for bottle feedings, and as a chill-out seat for each babe. I did return the Mt Brest Friend Twin nursing pillow…it just didn’t work for me.

Carters and Gerber clothes These brands are super cheap and totally cute. And most important, when our babies were teenie tiny, their sizes are TRUE to the baby’s size! I bought some Halo and Giggle-brand preemie outfits and they were huuuuge on our babies. Gerber and Carters are little enough (ditto for their newborn size) to fit when they’re suppose to. I hope you don’t need preemie clothes, but if you do, stock up on these because it’s helpful to see your baby in clothes that fit.

Sleep gowns I love dressing the babies up in cute, even complicated, outfits all day, but at night, I say seeee ya to the onesies and snap-up footie outfits. Changing two babies every couple of hours in the night = you want it to go as quickly as possible and to agitate the baby as little as possible. The less snaps to deal with, the better. Plus, the babies look sooooooooooo angelic and sweet in their night gowns!!! I love the Angel Dear gowns: pricey, but we use them almost every night.

Sports Bra I finally wised up and got a special hands-free pumping bra after a week of constant pumping, but quickly realized I needed a back-up for when it was in the wash. I decided to just cut slits in an old sports bra instead of shelling out for another bra. If you’re a twin Mom, you’re very likely going to spend a lot of your time pumping, and I highly recommend having a bra ready to go so you can play with a baby/type/talk on the phone/whatever while you’re producing that liquid gold. I like the sports bra better because the zipper never catches, which is nice when I’m pumping in the middle of the night and a little more impatient!

Chicco Keyfit 30 carseat We debated between these and the Graco Snugrides. The pro: Our 4 pound babies passed the carseat test in them (they accommodate preemie-size babies). The con: They are a little heavier than the Gracos. The Chiccos and Gracos both work in the Snap-n-Go.

*****

Some other time I’ll describe how I get the babies up and down from our 3rd floor walk-up apartment by myself every day. I will say this: My soft arms from bedrest are starting to tone up, sans weights at the gym!

*****

T-minus 6 days til we bring the babies—via plane!—to the Northeast for a long weekend. Time to start making packing lists….

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Home again home again, jiggity jig

I survived the wedding weekend and the 40 hours away from Champ and Honey and hubs! It ended up being really fun, and I am SO HAPPY I was able to be there to support my friend and watch her take this huge step of marriage in her life. I did miss the babies constantly and I called/texted/emailed hubs a dozen times to check on them. I brought one of Champ’s swaddle blankets with me and cuddled up with it on the plane rides and at night so I could smell their sweet baby smell while I was away. And anytime a wedding guest asked if I had pics of the babies, I whipped out my phone and showed them a few of the three hundred pics I have saved on there of the babies. 🙂 Their ears must’ve been ringing alllllllll weekend long.

I realized that it’s been FOREVER since I was truly in a social setting. Hubs and I went out to dinner on February 13 (his brother was visiting) and then the next morning the pre-term labor stuff happened and I was put on bedrest for five weeks, and then the babies came and I’ve been a hermit who only leaves to take walks, etc. Of course we’ve had friends over to visit, and we went out to dinner on my bday last month, but I haven’t been ACTIVELY social in about three months. I walk around the hourse in my lulu pants and glasses. I live on coffee and granola bars. It felt like I was being released into the wild! A blow out! Make-up! Pictures! Dancing! Small talk with six other bridesmaids! Cocktail hour! A sit-down dinner! A seven-hour long wedding reception in which to meet new people and catch up with old friends!

I felt like I went from being a hermit to a social butterfly. It was crazy and overwhelming but actually completely wonderful.

And OH MY GOSH was it amaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing to walk in our apartment door yesterday afternoon and to find my chubby babies waiting there. I felt like my heart was going to burst. We spent the ENTIRE afternoon snuggling and cuddling together in my bed. 🙂

I’m glad I got the social rust off, as we are heading to our 10-year college reunion in a couple of weeks. AHHHHHH!!!!! I reserve the right to change my mind, but the current plan is for all four of us to fly (!!!) to the East coast and set the babies up with hubs’s parents and spend the first night at their house. Then hubs and I will head to campus for a day and night sans babies. Then hubs’s parents will bring the babies up to campus on Saturday so we can introduce them to our friends. I actually ordered Honey a dress and Champ a polo shirt in our school colors, so I think this is really and truly happening.

If you had told me, when they were born at under 5 pounds, that we would be able to (physcially and emotionally!) take them on a plane trip at 10-weeks old and introduce them to our best college friends, I would’ve thought you were crazy. But their ped has given them 110% clearance to travel. And I think it’s going to happen….

So yeah, basically I have two weeks to try to get my body in a place I feel good about. Honestly? I just don’t have the time or energy to exercise and lift like I need to in order to get my figure back. And I eat even more these days (breastfeeding makes me super hungry) than when I was pregnant. It’s not a good time to diet. (Of course, I don’t really need ice cream at night, but that’s another story!) Being a couple months postpartum and seeing tons of peeps you haven’t seen in 10 years = not ideal timing. I’m going to do a post on recovery from bedrest and birth + exercise + eating, etc at another time. But these babies are (of course!!!!) worth this soft body with its ginormous boobs!!!

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Settling into this…

Oh, my gosh, it has been much too long since I have written. Of course I have been busy and seriously at a loss of words to articulate everything I’m feeling and doing lately, but also, part of me has been reluctant to embrace the whole “motherhood” blog thing. I was inspired by Mel’s post today, which urges us to be “diarists” wherever we are in our lives. It really resonated with me. Parenting twins (!!!!!!), amazingly, is where I am, and what I’m living, and what’s on my mind, so here we go….

I am so blessed, so lucky, so happy. Every day I feel immense gratitude for these babies. I feared I would never ever be pregnant, then I was so anxious during pregnancy, and here we are….I still can’t believe our babies are really home with us and giving us cuddles and coos and chubby cheeks to snuggle and kiss and sleep deprivation. It is all beyond awesome. I hope and pray, and hope and pray, that you are all here someday soon. In particular, my friends and very good eggs, Mrs. Brightside and TeeJay, have endured incredible pain and heart ache over the past couple of weeks—they have suffered more than anyone should have to. I pray that they find some peace; my whole heart is with them. I am also sending my best implantation and take-home baby vibes to good eggie Chon, who had a successful transfer in her IVF cycle over the weekend, please please please let this be IT.

There are so many posts floating around in my head, but I will just tackle one for now.

First order of biz-ness: I’m going to start referring to Baby A, our little baby boy, as Champ (left, above). Because he is a champion eater, sleeper, observer, cuddle-er, everything-er. And Baby B (right, above), our little baby girl, will be known as Honey. Because she is our sweet little thing, our feisty beautiful Honey Pie.

The babies turned 7 weeks old on Monday. As they say, time really does fly. It’s strange, as each day can seem so long—with diaper changes and naps and feedings and tummy time and pumping and story time and bath time and clothing changes and walks—and yet they go for their 2-month check-up next week. It’s amazing.

So, NEWSFLASH (!!), babies come in all shapes, sizes and temperments. Our little Champ is the mellowest thing in the world. Of course he waves his hands, cuddles, cries, shrieks when we don’t feed him quickly enough—but, oh my lord—he is cool as a cucumber/happy as a clam/yada yada yada, 90% of the time. He goes to sleep right after eating in the night. He goes to bed at night without a fight. He eats quickly and efficiently. He gains weight so well. He is an easy-going little ANGEL baby, with his big eyes darting around and observing and taking in everything!

It is our blessing, not our burden, that our little Honey is so very different! 🙂 She is a fussy fussy fussy baby. The poor little thing has really severe gas….and while I think it’s improving, thanks to her digestive system maturing and a dose of Mylicon with each feeding and extensive burping and raising her mattress to a 40-degree incline, it’s still there and she’s uncomfie whenever she eats. And she eats all.the.time. Until 2 days ago, we were averaging 15 feedings a day with her compared to 10 with Champ. (Ay yi yi.) She spends her days grunting and groaning and generally showing her chronic discomfort. It’s hard to be a baby!! Poor sweet, sweet thing.

She tends to get super-duper cranky/cry-y/inconsolable during the witching hour (starting around 4pm) and it’s a full-fledged meltdown if she hasn’t napped well that day. Ditto for putting her to sleep, melt.down.city.

But, oh, she is just the sweetest thing. She loooooooooooooooooves to cuddle. She loves to sleep on our chests. She loves to roam around the apartment doing household chores with me in the sling. She has the brightest blue eyes and the most platinum blonde little mullet and she has so much fire and strength and feistiness in her for an almost 8-pound (I think?!) baby.

All of this is to preface the fact that we are, after 7 weeks, finally trying to get some order around here. I’ve been feeding on demand (a combo of nursing and breastmilk from bottles) until a couple of days ago, in order to maximize weight gain. No more! (Not that we aren’t still concerned about weight gain, we are, it’s just that we know they are capable of getting as much milk as they need by taking larger quantities in fewer feedings.) We’re finally feeding both babies AT THE SAME TIME. Which means waking up one baby if the other one wants to eat, day or night. This basically means we are trying to stretch Honey out beyond the 1.5 or 2 hours she was going in between feeds until now. And we’re letting Honey cry for a few minutes when we put her down at night before we go and check on her and re-arrange her—and I am no longer picking her up and cuddling/rocking her to sleep.

We are also trying to get them to sleep longer stretches at night. As I mentioned, until a couple of days ago they were eating whenever they wanted to. Now that we’re feeding them AT THE SAME TIME, we’ve reduced the number of middle of night feedings from 6 to 3 (rocket science!). So last night, the second night of the new “simul-feeding and hopefully longer stretches of sleep” regime, they ate at 730pm, 11pm, 230am, 5am, 730am. Those two 3.5 hour stretches of sleep they had are sooooooooo encouraging! And, just as exciting, they have been going back to sleep right after they eat. (Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaase no jinxies, newborn sleep gods.) I really really really hope they can keep this up and maybe ditch the midnight-ish or 3am-ish feed sometime in the next month or so.

Regularly scheduled napping and feed times = a bridge we probably won’t cross for some time. It’s hard to make plans with peeps because it’s always a game of roulette betting on what times of day the feedings will fall. Fortunately, AplusB is going through similar nap/feed mayhem, and we met for our very first playdate (of many!) with all four (!!!) of our babies on Tuesday. 🙂

So that’s what’s up with the babies. In other news, I am flying to NYC to be a bridesmaid in one of my best friends weddings this weekend. I know. I KNOW. I can’t believe it either. My heart aches at the thought of leaving the babies (even for the “short” 40 hours I’ll be gone) and I shudder at the idea of pumping in airports and in between wedding events and not leaking thru my bridesmaid dress. (In case you’re wondering, my MIL will be in town to help hubs survive two nights sans me.) And let’s not even discuss how chubs I’m going to look in my turquoise dress—even tho I’ve lost a lot of my pregnancy weight, the remaining 7 pounds (ahem, this does not count the extra 10lbs of IF weight I had pre-pregnancy) are somehow giving me 3 chins, a buddha belly and an overall layer of pudge. Nice.

Wish me luck on all fronts, my dear bloggie friends!!!!

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One month old!

The babies are four weeks and 3 days old!!!!!!!! We took them to their one-month check-up this morning. It’s crazy thinking back on making the first trip to the ped exactly one month ago. I was so exhausted (I still am), the car seats felt so heavy (they still do)….but everything else felt more manageable today. I still have no clue what I’m doing 99% of the time, but I feel muuuuuuch more comfortable toting them around and it doesn’t take nearly as long to get out of the house. The appointment was great, all of the babies’ hard work at feedings was reflected on the scale. (YIP!) We have two butterballs (hahaha) weighing in at a whopping 6 pounds 11 ounces (Char.lie, he gained 1.5 pounds in 2 weeks) and 6 pounds 2 ounces (Lu.cy, she gained 17 ounces in 2 weeks…and it seems to be allllll belly, haha, sweet sweet girl). Great job, babies!

Lu.cy has some serious gas or possibly reflux issues that I will address in another post, after trying out a couple of fixes the ped recommended. The good news is that she’s not crying 24-7, she’s just grunting/groaning/semi-wailing most of the time (unless she’s eating or cuddled onto my chest). Poor little thing. I feel so bad for her that she’s so uncomfortable. And I feel so lucky that Char.lie is currently quite mellow in the digestion department (no jinxies!!). We are so incredibly happy and also so very very grateful for these sweet sweet babies: Along with hubs, they are the lights of my life. 🙂

Okay, here’s a little glossary of the terminology being thrown around in our house lately…

Last chance feeding – The feeds on the morning of any ped appointment, when we encourage the babies to really really really suck down that yummy breast milk to tip the scale a tad higher at the weigh-in. A la “last chance workouts” on The Biggest Loser…except with the opposite goal.

Piranha – A strong latch on the boob. When I’ve got a baby on me, if hubs is in room, he’ll look over and ask, “Piranha?” Also can be a verb if the sucking is especially vigorous, as in, “Oh my gosh, he’s really piranhaing me right now!”

Cookie monster – A very hungry baby. Also can be a verb, as in, “is she Cookie Monstering?” if the baby is rooting around like crazy.

Magical forest – Their play mat. It has cute little animals hanging all over it. We like to do tummy time on the mat and we also put them in their Boppys so they can reach for/observe the forest creatures up close.

Spa day a.k.a. bath time. We still do sponge baths on the changing table with the babies, even though their umbilical cord stumps fell off weeks ago. They, umm, don’t really enjoy being cold or naked, so we turn on the sound machine to rainforest or ocean sounds and regale them with stories about the luxe spa treatment they are getting. 🙂

Current most-used nicknames for Char.lie: Chaz Ma Taz, Bright Eyes, Butterball, CW, C-Man

Current most-used nicknames for Lu.cy: Lucy Pie, Luce Ma Goose, Honey, Baby Doll, Lucy Lou

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The hardest part?

If there is one thing I’ve learned since we got home from the hospital, it’s that I could not do this without lots and lots and lots of help.

My hubs is awesome, as a support of me and as a parent of twinsies. He feeds/changes babies as soon as he gets home at night. He cooks dinner every night. He tells me all the time how awesome I’m doing as a Mom (haha). He washes pumping supplies and bottles. He uploads our meticulous notes on their feeds into spreadsheets every morning so we can see exactly where they are. Etc etc etc etc etc. He’s awesome.

And my MIL….words cannot express how grateful we are for her help. She is a retired Labor & Delivery nurse (!!!) and has been flying into town for a few days at a time here and there to cover night shifts + a couple of hours in the afternoon (she’s subletting an apartment a few blocks away so we can have our “space”!) so I can either a) run to the grocery store, b) take a walk, or c) lay down and shut my eyes. AMAZING. She’ll be doing this for the next six weeks, and it’s pretty much the awesome-est thing in the world.

The rest of the time, hubs and I split up the night shifts. He’s more of a night owl so he’ll cover the babies from 11 until 3 or 4am-ish. Then I’m on for the rest of the night/day and he sleeps until about 7 or 8 before getting up for work. It seems to work pretty well. At night, we keep both babies in their bassinets in the nursery and the person on the night shift hangs out in the living room, doing whatever (watching TV, surfing the web, laundry, etc), while keeping an eye on the video monitor. Because a baby often needs to be fed every hour of the night, it just doesn’t make sense for the on-call person to be in the bedroom with the sleeping person right now. I really miss sleeping in the same bed as hubs (especially since I can now snuggle him without my big pregnant belly!), but I know this is not forever….

Of course, most of the time no one is here to help and it’s just the babies and me. I am in heaven with them—cloud nine. The hardest part? When I’m feeding one baby and the other one is hungry and crying and rooting because he or she is now hungry, too. Ohhhhhh, how that hurts my heart. With twinsies, you can’t be there for both babies at once all of the time….you have to crises manage each situation. Do I cut a nursing session short to attend to the next baby? Interrupt it to get try to get the second baby to latch on, too? Rearrange everyone and set them both up in Boppys for bottle feeds? And so this triage situation happens. Over and over and over. When hubs gets home in the evening, it is out of control how exhausted I feel. (This definitely tops the summer where I was training for a Half-Ironman. Ooof!)

I have never been happier, or more tired. 🙂

In an ideal, very efficient, world, I would tandem nurse them. But, so far, I’ve found that really hard to execute. For one thing, they’d both have to be hungry at the same exact time. I know someday in the future we’ll get them on the same feeding sked, but for now, we’re maximizing weight gain and that means feeding a baby whenever he/she is hungry, and at least every two hours. For another thing, it’s hard to get two babies situated on a Boppy when you’re alone. And lastly, while they both have it in them to be excellent nursers, none of us are great at it just yet…..while I can almost always get one baby perfectly latched and sucking, it’s pretty much hitting the lottery if I can get them going simultaneously.

So, I do a combo of attempting tandem feeds, taking turns nursing them, feeding them bottles of pumped breast milk, then pumping to drain my boobs, then cleaning everything up. (Sometimes all of that happens in one session, haha.) It’s not a perfect system, it’s pretty freaking inefficient, but it’s working for us right now: They are definitely chubbing up and looking more rolly-polly-ish and that makes me SO SO SO happy. 🙂

We take them outside for walks on weekends….they’ve seen Lake Michigan, been to the park, and hung out at our fave sandwich shop. They’re such a handful and I’m soooo obsessed with feeding them the MOMENT they look like they’re thinking about food…..so I’ve never taken them outside all by myself. That has got to change soon! I know maternity leave will be a lot more fun when we’re all mobile…

The best hours are the ones where one baby is happily snoozing and I have the other one on my chest for cuddles and individual QT. They melt me!!!! I try really hard to give them each as many one-on-one snuggles as possible throughout the day. Sometimes, if the timing is just right, I can put them both on my chest and they’ll nap together while I stare at them, mesmerized and blissfully happy. Sweet, sweet babies.


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